❝Because I still love you❞

2

Through half of the ride, silence dominated the air with only the radio faintly playing in the background. Neither of them tried to break the thumbing silence, well until the Chinese male decided to break it,

❝I am sorry.❞

❝I already told you it's a small cut, and it's okay,❞ the slightly tanned male sighed, wanting to forget about what happened a few hours ago.

❝No, it's not okay, neither are you,❞ Chenle said in such a small voice that if not for the silence, Jisung wouldn't have heard him. ❝I am sorry, for not only putting you through pain today but for the past 6 months as well. Because of me, you have been in pain for months. I am sorry, for leaving you, for not fighting for you, for us....... when you had endured so many hardships only for us to end up together. I am sorry,❞ Chenle buried his face in his hand as his sobs could be the only thing heard.

While Jisung's face turned into a cold and expressionless one, as he tightly gripped the steering wheel, trying hard not to break down, at least not until he reached his apartment. He didn't want to talk about it, not after he had spent months of hard work to forget and get over it. He hated the Chinese male for reminding him, for making him go through the same pain again when he already forgot it.

But he knew, he could never hate the male in front of him. How could he? When he was the only one in his universe.

❝Don't, please just don't talk about it.❞ Jisung begged as he pulled the car over to the side of the empty road, and leaned his head over the steering wheel, trying his best to not let tears escape his orbs.

❝No, after all the pain I have put you through, you deserve an apology-❞

❝Fuck love, don't remind me of the pain I have been through these last months, just how depressed I was, how I ran away from my responsibilities, how I doubted my love for you if it was still worth mourning over you leaving me, or more like, if my love really wasn't enough for you to fight for us, for our love,❞ at this point, the younger was just pouring out what he felt and thought after Chenle left him as pearly tears rolled down his orbs.

❝You know, I wonder sometimes, if what we had was love, or just a phase everyone went through.❞

Just when the younger called him love the second time, he stopped but his heart only accelerated, feeling a very familiar fluttering feeling in his stomach. He only listened to the male's speech, not being able to react in any way, he was then pulled out of his trance when he realised what his ex-lover just said.

Wanting to defend their past relationship, he was only able to say, ❝Jisung-ah please-❞

❝Chenle, please. Let me finish first.❞

And that was the only thing needed for him to shut his mouth, as the tear-stained face of the younger came into his view and if you hear carefully, you could hear his heart cracking a bit.

Actually, a lot.

❝At first, I wanted to hate you, forget you, and get you out of your head. Wanted to hate you for hurting me so badly, for leaving me in such a vulnerable state, when I needed you the most, for not fighting for our love, for not believing in me and our bond,❞ all these words were like a dagger through the elder's heart.

But could he blame Jisung for that? Of course not. After all, whatever the taller male said was true. He left him and broke their relationship.

But he never knew that all his doings being said in his face would hurt like a bitch.

❝But you know what, Chenle?❞ the mention of his name made him look up to his home, who was also looking into his universe and then continued, ❝Even after wanting to hate you so much, I ended up hating myself. Wondering every day and night, if my love, my efforts, and all the hardships you and I went through were really not enough for you to stay. I always wondered if what we had was even love, always wondered if you really loved me or just thought of me as a toy.❞