Love & Stuff

1

Hi angels!!!!

First, I just wanted to say that I am so sorry that I have been so absent.

I moved out to LA almost two years ago now, and since I moved out here I've just been focusing most of my energy on figuring my shit out and trying to pursue the things that I wanna pursue. But, I realized I kind of abandoned writing in all of that and I miss it a lot.

I wrote this recently and it's probably the first thing I've been proud of writing in a whileeeee so I wanted to share it, in hopes that it'll motivate me to get back into writing again (and finally finishing my fanfics omfg)!!!

So, I'm really sorry that this isn't an update for my other stories, but I hope you guys appreciate it nonetheless!!

Thank you alllllll for being the best ever and I love you little angels forever <33333

...

He was everything and nothing that I expected him to be. I always knew he was charming and confident and had the ability to bring a smile out of anyone.

He had a pretty face and pretty hair, a very obvious taste for fashion, and an insane amount of talent. He was all the things I had wanted in a person. As if I'd written down a list of bullet points of all the traits I could possibly desire, and he was the direct manifestation of those traits.

Someone like that is hard to describe.

You'll look at that list and think, "Can't anyone meet those characteristics?" and the answer is no. Not the way he could. Not the way he did.

From the moment I met him, I knew there was something special about him. Something addicting, and impossible to ignore.

But I attempted to ignore it.

Even now, I'm not sure I could possibly explain my hesitations.

He was everything I desired, and he was right in front of me, and he wanted me.

But I resisted.

I pretended that the butterflies I got every time I saw him was just the normal type of excitement you feel when you see your friends. I pretended the way he flirted with me and did everything he could to make me laugh didn't make me feel special. I pretended his magnetism didn't pull me in like the earth rotating around the sun.

For months, I pretended and pretended and pushed down any feelings threatening to burst out of me as if my life depended on it.

But, like I said, that special thing about him—that magnetism—was impossible to ignore.

So I gave in. And it was like taking a step off of a cliff that you thought was only going to be a small jump.

Instead, I fell and fell for miles and miles, and he was right there at the edge of the cliff, waving down at me with his all-knowing smile.

That's probably the most frustrating thing about him.

He knew how addicting he was. How mesmerizing and impossible to ignore he was.

And that only made him more charming.

Because he knew I'd fall off the cliff eventually.

After months and months of trying to lead me toward that edge, he finally did it. And he never had any doubt that he could.

And, if I'm being honest, I never had any doubt either.

I talked to men less significant than him during those months. Each one disappointed me—one after the next—and he was always there to see the downfall.