Reader x AOT Various

To Fight or Dye

Idea given by ashlynn_haz once again.

You were ready for war. Almost every piece of your (s/c) skin was covered for protection as well as a face mask for the odor you knew would be there. You took your (h/l) hair out of its ponytail so this task would be easier. Your footsteps echoed across the tile as you were heading to your destination.
You stepped in and shouted to the person on the other side of the door
"TIME TO DYE!" before kicking the door open to reveal your confused boyfriend Jean sitting on the toilet seat hands covered in Latex gloves and holding a box of (f/c) hair dye. He let out an inhuman screech that resembled a pterodactyl cry more than anything while gracefully falling of the toilet and slamming his head against the countertop.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR (f/n)?!" He cried out before noticing your attire. " AND WHY THE HELL ARE TOU WEARING THAT WE ARE JUST DYING YOUR HAIR?!"
You smiled like the Cheshire Cat before shutting the door behind you. "Well Ex-cauuuse me for wanting to not get covered in the shit!" you replied sassily while gesturing towards him in all his black tank top and basketball shorts wearing glory.
He covered his chest with a smirk on his face. "I'm sorry princess, I thought we were just dying your hair not splattering it everywhere to resemble a bloodbath."
You covered your mouth with one hand in an attempt to look offended. "So that is not what we were doing? I thought that's what you had to do in order to make your hair not resemble a rejected muffin."
At this he cocked his head and stared at you "Huh?"
"You heard me Ponyboy!" You spoke while holding back laughter, "I know for a fact the carpet does not match the drapes!"
Jean just completely lost it at this. "Well you see princess! At least I look old enough to have carpet down there!"
Your eyes narrowed at him knowing he just insulted your face that still resembles a 10 year old at times. "I will let you have 5 seconds to take that back SeaBiscuit."
His face broke out into a grim knowing he hit you good. "Or what? You will bite my ankles? Maybe try to break a cookie-jar over my head if you find out how to reach the top shelf?"
Your face was burning with anger as you walked over to him. Did he think this was a game?! This was War now. You grabbed the bottle of mixed dye an sprayed it on his shirt in the shape of a dick and let out a smirk.
He just stared at you in as if you had offended his great ancestors used to carry soldiers to victory.
"What are you gonna do about it now cupcake?"
His offended face was replaced with a psychotic smile with a gleam of amusement in his whiskey colored eyes. As he reached over you to grab the container of temporary dye you two used last Halloween before spraying it on your formerly all white outfit.
"YOU WHORE!" You screamed in false anger, "or should I say "Whorse?."
He put on a pout "again with the horse jokes? Really." He whined while wiping away a fake tear.
A smirk broke across your face as you pulled him down to our level and whispered in his ear. "We are both pretty dirty huh? And seeing that you finally embraced you are a horse how about I become your cowgirl?"
Jean being the huge dork he is was at a loss for words "mhmm" was all he can say before you two hopped in the shower for a wild ride.