Pain, Passion & Obsession

Chapter One: Miss. Rich Snob

     You know when all the thoughts in your head have finally calmed down from a raging storm to a dull roar, that's the peace I was finally enjoying. "Tatsu!" was all I heard as my thoughts came back bringing me back into the storm. I knew that one of my family members yelling my name at this time meant dinner was ready.

     My family was bickering back and forth as always while pouring booze out for everyone. My brother and I weren't old enough to drink however my father thought the drinking age in America was bull crap, something my father learned from his father. He always said drinking will put courage in even the weakest of men.

     My father never thought he would have a daughter and made up his mind that his daughter would be strong and independent. The kind of girl who drinks whisky and smokes cigars. Those were the only things he instilled in me. The rest of the time he wouldn't let me do anything because I was a woman and I always need a man with me because I was vulnerable and the world was too dangerous.

     I couldn't go on a walk on my own or ride my bike without a man with me when I was younger. He only let me go out to do things with out a man when I was around fifteen or sixteen. It really was contradicting and never made sense to me, I don't know that it ever will.

     Thinking about all that made me realize that tonight is the last night before my senior year in high school. Twenty years old and I'll just be a senior in high school now. If that doesn't make me feel like a failure, I don't know what else will besides the fact that I'll be twenty-one once I graduate. "You're going back to school tomorrow correct, I hope I won't be expecting any more problems this year."

    "What?" I wasn't quite paying attention to their conversation but as soon as I heard 'going back' I knew it had to be about me.

     "What! What! Did you really just 'what' me!" he yelled in a raspy tone. It took me a moment before I realized why he was upset, which only made him more upset. "How dare you say what to me especially with a tone!"

     What is one of those words my father absolutely hated and never wanted to hear come out of my mouth or my brothers. He always takes it as disrespect, I however disagree I think it's a fine clarifying word if used correctly. "I wasn't using a tone- "

     "Yes, you were! Are you saying I don't know what a tone sounds like. Do you think I'm stupid?" At this point there is really nothing I can do other than apologize and listen to him give a speech. Then continue with the previous conversation like it never happened.

      When dinner had finally ended I headed up to my room to being packing. Thankfully I never need to pack much since my apartment already has everything I need. The only major thing I had to do was find a part time job in the city for this year.

     Unlike everyone else at school I chose to be there which meant I had to pay for it. Thankfully my apartment isn't too expensive and if I get pre-made or easy things to cook, I don't end up paying to much for food. The main reason I fought to go to school in the city was because I needed to be on my own. My family was becoming too much and I just couldn't handle it.

     I needed to find a way to remove myself from the bad environment and find a place where I could grow individually and safely. Although I will admit I think I'm going down the wrong path a little but I'd like to act my age for just once so I think it's okay as long as I don't lose myself in it all. This year will be different I don't know how it will but I just know it will, I hope it's exciting though and that's the extent of it.

     When morning came everyone was already gone, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little sad. I wish they would have at least said goodbye sense I don't know the next time I'll see them. However then again maybe I wouldn't see them again after graduating. I could always just move to a different apartment and decided to have no connection with them. By time I arrived to my apartment cleaned and got everything settled it was already time for dinner.