The Old Man of the Nursing Home

A long time without family

I am an old man of a very old age, I live among people I do not know, I heard that this place is called the nursing home, I do not know how I got here and why, but I do not hate this place, in fact I like it to some extent, there is this nice nurse who comes every day to take care of me  My relatives visit me with their smiling faces, like my brother, and with him my mother, who seems to be in good condition now. I do not see my father with them, and it seems that he is still angry with me. They wear their loose and comfortable clothes. I wait for them from time to time, so that they can comfort my loneliness.

This is a quiet life, unlike before the days of my youth, in which I witnessed the end of World War II. At that time, I was no more than fifteen years old. I worked in the cultivation of fields with my father and my older brother. We are from a rural environment in Gharbia Governorate, but the hunger for youth in me made me  I would like to visit the big cities, but whenever I mentioned the matter to my father, he would beat me, but I did not give up, and I tried to escape, and whoever helped me at that time was my brother Abdul Jalil, although he was strongly opposed to what I did, but in the end he helped me, he collected food and some money for me, and with that  I went to Tanta, and then, motivated by adventure, I went to Cairo with difficulty, its lights dazzled me, and I was almost 19 years old at the time, and the first thing I thought about was working so that I could find my daily sustenance.  But the alienation suffocated me and I felt very lonely, because these people around me do not feel any resemblance between me and them, so I decided to return after twelve years to visit my family.I found my mother sitting alone on her bed, and she was terrified when she sensed my presence ,  She shouted at me, saying: “Who is there?”  I replied that I was her son Khaled, so she lied to me at first, but then she was convinced, and she received me in her bosom, and how severe was my shock that she had become blind. I asked her about my father and my brother, and she was silent for a while. She said rest now, and when your brother comes, he will teach you everything.

After my brother came, he told me that my father moved to God’s mercy six years ago. He wanted to see me very much, and my mother cried for him so much that her condition became like this. My brother got married and had children, and I didn’t even think about getting married.  And I decided to stay with my mom who insisted on the necessity of marriage but every time I evade and say I will think about this later, my mother, until she passed away after a year, I did not know what to do, I have no life in my village or in the city, I do not belong to any place it seems, but I decided to continue  The rest of my life in the city, and as I bid farewell to my brother, he said: "You will go and leave us again?" I replied that I had no place here from the beginning, I wish I had never gone, and I left him and went.

But there are many things that baffle me, because sometimes I see the ghosts of two boys around me, their situation is strange, sometimes I see them playing and sometimes they cry and I don't know who they are, but when I remember them I feel joy and comfort in their presence, sometimes I see them running around me and clinging to my clothes, but where are they now?

On my brother's last visit in July, with my mother, they told me it was time to go, I asked them where?  And my mother replied: "Be with us, my son, and be with me."

I asked them where is my father?  My brother replied that he was waiting for me,

I asked him, "Is he still angry with me?" My mother replied, "If you come with us, he won't be angry anymore. He still loves you. You are his child after all."

So I was about to go and leave my bed, and my brother took my hand, and I felt the coldness of his hands, but it was a beautiful coldness, like a breeze of air that made me feel reassured and I felt that my body was lighter because of his help to me, and we crossed a beautiful path, at the end of which was my father, showing features of joviality and tenderness contrary to what I remember of him, he received me with hugs  It was the first time I saw my father smile.