Never Loved.

Hi! Im writing this as diary or whatever u like to call it. But im going to begin telling you my story.
It started in summer 2021. I didn't go outside and sat in my room all day and i can't remember was it me who added him on quick add or him, but who cares anyway. We started talking and it was really fun we talked about our interest like normal people i guess. But then we started talking about personal stuff like our age, our name, where do we live. And u will never ever guess where he lived. It turns out we are basically neighbors not really but he lives near my apartment, AND OUR SUMMER HOMES ARE REALLY CLOSE. Anyway he was 14 at the time and i was 12 oh boy he was and IS really handsome, i also forgot to tell you that we shareD a same interest at the time and it was football not sure if he still plays it though. Anyway we talked and we had fun i mean at least i had fun talking to him but we never met up until. In summer i work in a youth cafe in a mansion and at the time i never actually saw his face so i didn't know what he looked like and he didn't know how i looked like either. Well while i was working a group of tourist came from a tour and i recognized a boy from MY school and i immediately new it was him i don't know but to u get the feeling time to time that its just right yeah? Well i knew it the moment he stepped in. And it got confirmed that its him after he sent a pic of him in the tower. And later on we talked how i saw him he asked where when but at first i didn't want to answer. anyway i told him not a long time after and of course he had to start bugging me how short i was actually i wasn't short he was just a giant. We kinda talked the whole summer, but when school started we didn't know each other we texted a little but not as much. I do remember that one time when i walked home and i knew he was behind me and then I heard him calling my name because i knew he was with his friend i didn't turn around. Well because i was so young at the time and so cringey. Well when i got home he texted me oh the joy i felt.. for a small amount of time because he ghosted me..for a while though i was still hurt but i liked him..i mean i like him VERY much.After he ghosted me and we started talking again he asked me to come and watch his practice but i didn't cuz i was scared but he promised that he will come watch my practice and that one time he came i felt weak i felt wierd i couldn't focus and when i was running to get the ball he was running besides me and tried to tell me what to do of course i didn't hear him so he kinda started to bully me saying hiw bad i was how weak i was.. Remember how i told you how cringey i was well yeah i started saying some stupid shit. And i regret it so much. Anyway after that he ghosted me AGAIN we didn't talk for a long time i tried to forget about him but deep down i have always liked himand i will always like him. Move forward 07.05.22 i saw my so called cousin snap and it said "go wish this cutie happy birthday" and she had tagged him.out of curiosity i added him and you won't believe it but he texted first and said "well hello again" omg it made me feel butterfly's. We talked a little maybe the word for that is we "catched up" actually we were just "fighting" like not fighting but fighting ya know? Anyway few day later it was my birthday yayyy!!! I turned 13 damn time flies anyway i was in practice and later went on a dinner with my family after the dinner i went to play football with my bestie and his anoying brother and i never guessed it would be my happiest day ever. I sent a streak of the field and he texted how he would beat all of us i said teasingly that he could never and he asked to you wand me to prove and believe it or not he came to play w us, but the worst part is that i acted like a child you know when u get comfortable with someone new and u start to act stupid and childish well i did that and im not going to the details. The same night we texted about our parents how strict they are and i felt safe like i can talk with him about everything. Well he gave me his other snap saying he uses that one often and u will never guess what happened next he ghosted me wow that hurt bad very bad. Well i tried to move on found another stupid boy to have crush on but i couldn't get him out of my head. But now we are just stranger's when i walk around school and see him my heart skips a beat and i always feel like we have 1 second eye contacts UGH this sound so stupid but its been almost 3years and i see him almost every day. Well this is the bad part with love you will be never loved by the person you love thi most.