The Weed Gang Lore

Chapter Eight - Cooking

The Weed Gang was having a peaceful day in the zaza hut, where they did nothing but inhale zaza.

"We should cook something... besides zaza" Ena sighed.

"But what? We don't have anything besides zaza in here, you goose" Chiaki asked.

"I guess we should go shopping then" Miku smiled.

"What if... we cooked Gundham's hamsters?" Ena asked.

"Gundham's hamsters?" Chiaki questioned, "We can't do that."

"Oh, okay" Ena sighed.

Then, the gang decided to go to the shop for some food. However, everything that wasn't zaza grossed them out and suddenly, they heard noises in the vents.

"Is Nagito in the vents again?" Miku asked.

"Yes" a raspy voice responded from inside the vents.

Then, Nagito fell out of the vents once again.

"Shall I assist in your journey of finding something to eat?" Nagito asked.

"How did you know that?" Maki glared.

"I'm in the vents. Always" Nagito explained.

Omori appeared and stole Maki's zaza.

Nagito helped the gang pick out some seasonings and utensils.

"Don't we need the main food? Not just seasonings?" Maki asked.

"We're going to be eating Gundham's hamsters" Nagito said.

"Yippee! Waa!" Ena cheered.

"How will we get them though?" Chiaki pondered.

"We'll just ask, I guess" Maki suggested

The weed gang then obtained Gundham's hamsters through some nice, sweet, violence.

"It's time..." Izuru smiled, for the first time.

The weed trio, then fried the hamsters, seasoned them and put them in the microwave.

"Was that bowl metal?" Chiaki asked.

"Wait... Why is it red?" Maki questioned.

"It was-" Izuru almost finished his sentence when the microwave blew up.

"Oh, well at least we can eat the hamsters" Chiaki shrugged and started eating.

The weed trio finished eating the hamsters when Miku and Ena walked in.

"Are you done cooking?" Miku asked.

The poly weed trio just stared at them as Maki took the last bite.

"You didn't save any fow us!?" Ena cried.

Chiaki apologized, "I'm so-"

"That's it, we're cooking *you* now" Miku glared as Ena pulled a comically large pan out of a cupboard.

"What!? You can't do this" Maki yelled.

"Yes we can" Ena laughed, "You shouldn't have eaten those hamsters without us!"

"Muehehehe" Miku laughed.

Nagito walked in, "Uhh... What are you doing?"

"Be quiet" Miku yelled.

As Miku flipped them in the frying pan, Ena put pepper on them.

"Stop, don't cook the weed trio!" Nagito yelled.

"Why not?" Miku and Ena said in unison.

"Because I have chicken now, we can cook the chicken" Nagito smiled, pulling a raw chicken out of his coat.

"Oh, that's great then!" Ena said, turning off the burner.

Then, the weed trio got up off of the stove and sighed.

The weed gang and Nagito worked together to make a nice rotisserie chicken, but while they were eating, the weed trio realized something.

"Those hamsters we ate... Those weren't hamsters" Maki noticed.

"What were they?" Chiaki asked.

"...Zaza balls" Maki responded.

"I see... So we cooked you guys for nothing?" Miku asked.

"...the zaza is kicking in" Izuru sighed.

Then, the weed trio got so high that they teleported to Poland.

"Where did they go?" Ena asked.

"Probably Poland or something" Nagito guessed.

"Well I guess there's just one way to find out" Miku said.

The new trio went into the elevator and Miku pressed the button that would take them to Poland. Ena desperately tried to keep Nagito from going back into the vents while Miku sang some weird finnish folk song while holding a leek. "Dona ratstasta-" Miku sang but was cut off when Ena yelled,

"Could you *please* help me keep Nagito from going into the vents!?"

"Oh, sure" Miku started pulling on Nagito's jacket.

When they finally got Nagito down, the elevator landed and the gang left to search for the poly weed trio. But they realized they had gotten sent to Virginia instead.

"Hey look over there" Ena pointed to the Zaza Moto Dealership (Again, that is actually a real place).

"We should get a car!" Miku suggested.

"That would be so hopeful!" Nagito yelled.

"Wait, do any of us even have driver's licenses?" Ena questioned.

"I do! From when Domino's did a collab with me, I got to deliver pizza" Miku said, happily.

And so, Miku bought a car from the zaza dealership. Though they still needed to go to Poland, but they were in America. It turned out that Miku could not drive, and speeded into the ocean.

"What do we do!?" Miku yelled as they started sinking.

"What's this button?" Nagito pointed to the swimming button.

"I'm not sure, should we press it?" Ena asked.

Before anyone could answer, Nagito pressed the button and the sparkles appeared around the car and it turned into a submarine.

"Oh" Miku said.

Now they could go to Poland and find the poly weed trio. When the car was on land, there was another transformation into a regular car and they ran over many different people. Eventually they found the poly weed trio laying in the streets.

"What are you all doing?" Nagito asked, hopefully.

"Zaza... overload" Chiaki groaned.

"Get in the car" Ena told them.

"Okay..." Maki sighed.

The high weed trio got into the zazamobile, and they went back to Virginia to get back into the elevator.

Now that they were finally home, they went to the zaza hut to eat some pure zaza.

The end :)