Take My Heart to the Depths

1. Misfit

They say that when it rains, it pours. Henrietta truly felt there was no better way to describe her day right now.

"It was a difficult decision to make, but we have decided to select another candidate more suitable for the job."

Another failed interview.

"We appreciate your submission, but your work was not selected for the final round."

And another failed entry.

Those were all of the unopened emails in Henrietta's inbox today. Perhaps she could be glad there weren't more disheartening messages to read, but the lack of any other email was a bad sign. It meant that she was not receiving commissions for illustrations and nobody was interested in her art.

With trembling hands, she folded the white laptop closed and pushed it away from her. She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them, curling herself into a ball.

All this time, she had been telling herself to be strong. She told herself that as long as she tried her best, she would eventually find success.

Is this really the best I can do? Henrietta asked herself that question whenever she met with failure. She never wanted to accept that things wouldn't get better.

But after years of futile effort, she was convinced that this was indeed the best she could do. And it was all the more crushing once she finally admitted it.

Henrietta didn't want to cry, but she no longer had the willpower to hold herself back. She broke into sobs, allowing tears to trickle down her cheeks and onto her knees.

She hated feeling this pathetic, but it was all she could feel today.

Henrietta stretched out her legs and roughly wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. She flopped flat onto the bed, grasped a blanket, and wrapped it around herself.

Her toes could feel the cold metal laptop still on her bed, but she didn't want to care about it. She didn't want to think about anything.

So, she closed her eyes and allowed sleep to put her mind to rest. She hoped that when she woke up, she would feel better and become ready to fight for her future once again.

But when she awakened, nothing had changed other than the light of day. The sun was barely visible and the sky had already turned into a smoky blue. Normally, Henrietta would rebuke herself for wasting the morning like that, but she couldn't bring herself to care this time.

I wish I could just keep sleeping and never wake up, she thought to herself.

But her body was more than fully rested, and she knew that sleep would not come for her again anytime soon.

At least I don't have to make breakfast now. Although, I do have to care about dinner.

Henrietta reluctantly removed herself from the bed and sauntered over to the kitchen in her studio apartment. She flung the refrigerator door open and scanned its shelves.

There was a carton of eggs, some leafy vegetables, packaged chicken, and a pot of remaining stew. She could finish last night's leftovers, or cook something new. Or she could forgo all of those choices, and just choose to eat an apple instead. She didn't have much of an appetite anyway.

Henrietta shut the refrigerator door and decided to appease her craving. She grabbed an apple from the basket on the kitchen counter and took a juicy bite.

The sweet crisp tinged with a slight tart delighted her tastebuds. It couldn't be compared to chocolate, but sweets were truly the cure for a weary mind. Her problems hadn't disappeared, but Henrietta felt a little better regardless.