Going Back To Yesterday

15

"Hey, are you okay? Kanina ka pa tahimik?"

I got back to my senses when Oliver suddenly held my hand. I was sitting on my kitchen's counter top while he was sitting on a chair. My mind was still occupied with how he acted ealier. I don't want to build suspeculations in my mind but what he just did made me want to. 

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine."

I lied. I didn't know how to tell him that I was overthinking. Hindi naman sa wala akong tiwala sa kanya pero kasi, there's something inside me that tells me that my boyfriend is hiding something. My mind feels so occupied right now.

He stood up and hugged me. "Is there a problem? Did I do something wrong, Love?" 

My eyes started watering with tears. I kept on denying that I wasn't okay earlier but now, I can't handle it anymore. "Are you... Are you hiding something from me?"

"Love," he called me. 

Humiwalay ako sa yakap niya. "Just answer my question. May tinatago ka ba sa 'kin, Oliver?" I asked him again. And once again, he didn't answer. 

"I... I can't answer that right now, Love. I'm sorry." He apologized. 

I just gave him a slight nod. It's okay. I won't force him to tell me the truth again. Dapat nasasanay na ako, eh. Dapat hindi ko na siya pinipilit pa dahil alam ko naman na talo ako pagdating doon. Palagi naman.

Dahil doon ay nagkaroon kami ng small fight ni Oliver. He left muna dahil magpapahinga pa raw siya. I also took a rest when he left. I wanted to free my mind. Later, when I woke up, I went outside muna kasi I still felt suffocated inside.

Magst-stairs na lang sana ako nang mapansin ko na meron na namang babae sa tapat ng dorm ni Oliver. This was the second time. Hindi na 'to coincidence. Lumapit ako sa kanya.

"Uhm, hi," bati ko sa babae. "May hinihintay ka ba sa loob?" I asked.

She looked at me. Napatigil ako nang mapansin kong pamilyar ang mukha niya. I think I saw her na before. Hindi ko lang maalala kung saan. 

"Is Oliver inside?" tanong niya.

I froze. I knew that wasn't a coincidence. Si Oliver talaga ang pinupunta niya dito. I bit my lower lip to stop myself from tearing up. 

"Nasa loob yata," sabi ko. "Katok ka nalang." 

At umalis na ako pagkasabi ko n'on. Mas lalong sumakit ang dibdib ko. So he was hiding someone from me... Ito ba 'yong sikreto na ayaw niya sabihin sa akin? Was she the reason why he left me years ago? 

Pinuntahan ko si Clara sa kanila. Inaya ko siya mag-mall para naman mawala kahit konti 'yong sakit na nararamdaman ko. Nag-shopping kami ni Clara at nang matapos ay nagpunta na lang kami sa food court dahil nagutom na kami kaka-ikot ng mall.