When we last left our hero, Phillip Millmore, otherwise known as Star-Alignment Man, the aligned stars had given him just enough power to resurrect himself, burst out of the cement block he had been buried in, and allowed him to escape the evil warehouse and make it close enough to his house in order to crash land through his kitchen window. Phillip was alive, but now that the star powers had worn off, the after-effects were kicking in. There came the normal shakes and inability to focus, but this time it was intensified, probably because he had been dead for so long.
His first sign of real concern came when he glanced up at his microwave oven clock and saw that fifteen minutes had passed since his arrival. Normally, his weakness and disorientation only lasted two or three minutes before he was fine, so why couldn't he shake it this time?
Then his eyes crossed a box of Dino Chunks cereal lying flat on the kitchen table and realized what he needed. The escape had required more energy than he normally put out and clearly, it had completely depleted more than what he had in the tank.
The simple solution was he needed food.
The table, and the cereal, however, seemed forever away. Tears formed in his eyes. Phillip Millmore was scared. He didn't want to die again. He was tired of dying because when you were dead for months on end, you didn't get a chance to live. What scared him even more than that, though, was that if he died in his own kitchen, he may be discovered and officially buried and pronounced dead.
What then when he came back to life?
There would be too many questions and concerns from neighbors and authorities for him to reappear without causing panic. He would have no choice but to move away and leave everything he loved behind forever.
"I can't die, I must do something." Our hero said in a barely audible whisper, which was fine since there was no one around to hear him anyway, unless, of course, the cereal had magically developed ears. In a way, Phillip had hoped it had, even though that was almost certainly one of the early signs of insanity, because if the Dino Chunks could hear, then maybe it would leap over to him and supply sustenance. Unfortunately, that was not the case.
Phillip Millmore had to do something, despite what felt like a thousand and two needles piercing his gut so he tried to scream for help. It wasn't the bravest move, but it was the only one readily available to him. Unfortunately, all that came out was a pathetic weak sob which seemed destined to be his last hoorah. He was aware of his body failing now and could almost smell that familiar chill of death making its presence felt.
Then he had a thought, "Why couldn't my superpowers also include telekinetic conversation or something useful like that? Perhaps it does. I mean I never tried." And no sooner than he thought it . . .
A knock on the door.
Phillip Millmore got really excited for just a moment until he realized he didn't have the energy to scream for them to come in, and somehow getting to the door to let whoever it was in was completely out of the question. What if they leave after jiggling the handle? After all, why would they force themselves into a locked house?
They wouldn't.
He had to try and send another telepathic message and let them know he was inside and needed help.
"Oh hey, what are you doing here?" It was a voice from outside and one he knew well, but it didn't seem to be directed toward him or even at the house. There was a reply, but it was too far away to know who the second voice was.
"That's cool. I'm here because I heard the window shatter, and it woke me up. I just came over to make sure everything was alright. I knocked on the front door but heard nothing, so I was thinking about calling the police in case Phillip's house had been broken into. Plus, I haven't seen him in a while, so I was just wondering if he had that twenty bucks I let him borrow."
"I've been dead, you idiot" Phillip tried to shout at Timmy Strong but despite him standing right outside the broken window, Mr. Millmore's voice just wouldn't carry.
Someone else was talking again but only briefly to which Timmy responded, "No, I haven't looked in the broken window yet."
"Well, don't you think that would have been a good place to start? The other voice sounded irritated, confused, and light, almost a whisper. Clearly, Jenn Hearttrob had arrived, and unlike Timmy Strong, she wasted no time in glancing in the window and surveying the situation.
"What do you see?"
"Open the door quick, he's hurt," she commanded.
The door handle jiggled, then stopped.
"What's wrong?"
"It's locked."
"Then bust it open, idiot, I said he was hurt."
"You have no right to call me, Idiot, I was the first one over here and was trying to do the right thing."
"Well, do you think arguing with me is 'doing the right thing?' Let's just let him lay there on the floor, while we argue about this for a little while longer. I'll start. You have failed in your attempt to be a friend. By your own comments, the only reason you are even here is that you want your money back. How do you respond?"
"Please, just open the door." Phillip Millmore pleaded from inside but wasn't heard.
"I plead by saying that I am starting to hate you." Timmy snapped.
"Really?" Jenn said in that almost alien whispery voice of hers.
"No, but I hate it when you try to make me look stupid. You know I've been Phillip's best friend since second grade, and he told me his secrets before anybody else, and I kept it a secret. You also know. . . "
Will Timmy Strong prove he is truly a good friend?
Is Jenn Heartrob even listening to him?
Will either one take the initiative to save poor Star-Alignment Man from another death?
Find out the answer to all these questions, right after these interludes.
YOU ARE READING
The incredibly silly adventures of Star-Alignment Man
HumorIn a world where there were no Super Heros, one man was born with Super Powers. Unfortunately, those powers only worked once a month. Even more, unfortunately, he had no idea when in the month those powers would kick in because it only happened wh...
