Dobby
"Dobby, where are you?" asked Winky, stumbling around the kitchen.
"Dobby is in the bafroom!" Dobby exclaimed loudly, swatting a fly around.
Giggling, Winky ran to the bathroom door, and swung it open quickly. Her happy expression immediately faded as she saw Dobby's pants moving by itself on his balls.
"WAT-WHATS HAPPENING T-TO THE PANTAYS?" Winky screamed.
Dobby was in the middle of making out with Punk the house elf stylist.
"U-uhm I feel like im being stirred," Dobby said, not know he was getting stirrings and would soon become 12 years old.
"That's scaree dobs!" Winky said squeakily, reaching for some butterbeer. She felt like she was going to faint. Dobby was cheating on her!
"I-I'm sorry! It's not what it seems!" Dobby said quickly, hitting his head onto the sink.
"Thats what every man says!" Winky cried.
Punk the hairy elf moaned, "What? Is? Happening?" she muttered, sounding like a total grown man.
"I'm not a man! I'm an elf!" Dobs protested, reaching for the butterbeer as well, then paused.
"Stop!" Winky snatched the butterbeer away. "I need this so I can get drunk and forget about my horrible life!" she sobbed, venting in the bathroom. She could not stop the fat, heavy tears from flowing down her crestfallen face, staining her little blouse with big splotches.
"Uhm, maybe I should go." Punk said, tip-toeing away. "You guys can figure it out-"
Winky gasped and tried to faint so Dobby would maybe romantically catch her. But Dobby's feeble attempts to have manlike reflexes turned out to be a small gasp, as Winky fell onto the floor with her eyes squeezed shut.
Dobby fumbled in shock as he heard someone from the kitchen walk in. It was their least favorite person... Severus Snape.
"What the hell is going on here, elves?" Snape sneered, slamming the door open.
"No old greasy men allowed!" Dobby shrieked.
"What the hell did you just call me?" Snape leaned in, hissing menacingly.
Dobby bravely stepped in front of the limp Winky to protect her from Snape, as it was the only elf in the whole wild world that would make Dobby talk back to a master.
"What makes you think you have the right to talk like that to me?" Snape asked, a bit taken back.
"L-love, sir." Dobby sighed in confession. He dramatically fell to his knees, trying to hold back tears. He wished that he could apologize to Winky, for everything really. For the stirrings, the love, the hate. The new elf at Hogwarts; Punk, was pretty, beautiful, strong, and amazing. But of course, she was nothing like Winky. Winky was perfect in every way, and no other elf could change his mind. But Punk, somehow, she just felt like the right one, the one to love with all his heart.
Snape held in a snort as Dobby bowed then quickly picked himself up as to defy to rules as a master as he thought about the differences he could think of between Winky and Punk. He couldn't let Snape see that an elf as feeble and small as him could be torn by the love between Winky and Punk, just like the way his old master, Lucius Malfoy, was torn between the love for Narcissa Malfoy and the love for his son. He suddenly hoped that Punk and Winky didn't love each other, or he would be a third wheel. He didn't know much about relationships at first, but he had learned plenty from Lucius Malfoy's stories of the girls he had loved before.
