Like the Red Rose blooms in the Oxford Garden

Chapter 1: I forget about you long enough, to remember why I needed you

Breathe.

Just stand still and breathe... she could do this.

Just breathe, in and out.

The noise of everyone clapping and cheering rang in her ears. It felt like the noise was drowning her.

Breathe. Inhalar y exhalar. No one would notice. She could do this.

Nina felt her hands going numb as she tried to control her ever more shallow breath. She could not move. The video Delfi and Jazmin had shown had left her in a trance. It had woken something inside of her that she had thought had been buried... she had convinced herself that she had buried it.

She had to get out of there. Out of the crowd. She could not ruin Luna's party like this.

She willed her feet to move. Nina glanced around the yard hoping that no one had noticed her. She didn't know what she was supposed to say to anyone...

She quickly found her way back inside the mansion and started climbing up the staircase before collapsing at the top, her head in her hands.

Everything was still spinning in her eyes, as she tried to balance out her breathing. She could not afford to have a panic attack right now. She couldn't...

In and out. Just breathe. Why had she been under an impression that she was able to keep her panic attacks under control? She took another shaky breath.

The spinning started to slow down and she could not hear her racing heart so loudly anymore. The attack had started to subside and Nina was able to take a deep breath again.

She ran her hands through her hair and tears started falling down her face. Why was this happening to her? Why had the video gotten to her like that, she... she knew why. She just had been convincing herself that it was not true, it could have not been true anymore...

...what was so wrong with her that she was not able to get over it? Over him. She already should have, she thought she had. But just those unexpected glimpses —why had she even been caught up off guard? She knew that he had been there, she had also been there— had brough such a surge of emotions... just like when she had heard his voice again after so many months, a months ago. Everything had just come crashing back. The joy, the pain, the way she missed him... she still did, because she love—

NO! No, no no. She could not do this, she had Eric...

...Eric— What was she doing? She did not know. She didn't know anything. More tears came from her eyes.

How had it come to this?

"Nina?" Suddenly she heard a voice from behind her.

***

Matteo was walking around the grounds of the mansion with Luna after they had all sung happy birthday to her and the girls had showcased that video. The party was still going strong, and the energy was still being super high. Knowing Luna, the party would definitely go on until midnight if not longer.

Matteo's own mood didn't exactly reflect everyone else's, but he was able to keep it to himself. It was Luna's day after all, and he did love seeing her so happy, and Luna really was having time of her life, basically leaping on every step she took.

"Wasn't the video so nice?" Luna asked after trying to do a pirouette in heels on the grass, and almost falling on her face onto said grass. "I legit almost cried. We have been through so much, and so many adventures are to come, as long as we are all siempre juntos."

"Yeah, it was nice," Matteo agreed, lowering his head just slightly, "if only we were all together," he said mostly to himself. Yes, it was true that the video had dampened his mood. It just brought back some memories and it was not the easiest seeing the footage of all the times with Gastón.