Poor Phillip Millmore.
You remember him, right?
He was resurrected, by star powers, escaped an evil warehouse in dramatic fashion, made it all the way home, and now lies practically dead again from the exertion.
If only there was a bowl of cereal he could eat to regain his strength.
Oh wait, there is, but he's too weak to reach it.
If only he had one or two friends in the area who could possibly feed him cereal.
Oh wait, he does, but they are too busy fighting.
If only there was another friend who could tell the previous two friends how selfish they are being.
Is there?
Well, there is Relisha Jones. The smartest, and wisest, in their little circle. Unfortunately for Phillip, she is currently out of town attending a microbiology conference, learning about how microbes can exist in places you would never expect or want them to. Relisha was having fun, Phillip Millmore was not.
There was nothing fun about death and that was what he was facing yet again unless he could find some sort of inner fortitude to get him out of his latest dilemma. Let's join him now as he is channeling all of what is left of his energy to his right arm.
It moves.
He did it.
Now he is doing the same with his left.
Again, success!
A joyful whimper escapes his lips while outside, Timmy Armstrong is daring Jenny Heartrob to try and open the door herself if she thinks it is so easy. Phillip ignores them. Crawling is his primary concern right now and by not overexerting himself, he is able to slowly manipulate all his appendages in the proper order until he finds himself right at the foot of the table. It's a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. Now to get the cereal.
More arguing outside. Part of Phillip wanted to tell them to shut up and just go home, but that required effort, and as it was, his body was chilled to the bone and starting to shake uncontrollably.
Ignore it. Get the cereal. I can do this.
But could he?
The cereal rests just on the kitchen table right before him, but it might as well be on a towering mountain peak because Mr. Millmore's body is much closer to terminal collapse than to a final surge of energy that would allow him to reach up.
Use what I can to my advantage.
What? Other than his shaking, shivering, failing body, there is. . . .
That's it!
The doorknob starts shaking once again, but Phillip ignores it as he places his body against the table leg nearest him. His convulsions against the table leg start to cause the loose cereal from the turned over box to tremble, but will it be enough? He knows it's a longshot, but it's his only shot.
A piece of cereal came down.
It's working.
Then a few more pieces start to flutter like the beginning of light snow. Three morsels are not enough for sustenance, he has to stay with it. Dino Chunks continue to cascade, Brontosaurus, Triceratops, Raptors, and even the hard to find T-Rex. It was a glorious moment.
The door crashes open, but Phillip Millmore doesn't even notice as he had fallen forward in an attempt to lick a headless Raptor off the ground.
"Holy crap, I think he's going into a seizure. Grab ham and take him to the bed. I'll clean up the mess in here." Jenn says, and Timmy does.
"No, I just need to eat." Phillip tries to say as his long-time friend grabs him under both arms and starts dragging him to the bedroom. The Dino Chunks getting further and further away by the second.
Just one Raptor.
But there would be no Raptors or any other dinosaurs this evening. Phillip Millmore passes away 45 minutes later while his friends are arguing over whether they should call 911 or not.
"Do we really need to call if he just comes back to life anyway?" Timmy Armstrong says.
Oh no, dear readers. It appears Star-Alignment Man is no better off now than when we began our tale.
Don't worry, next chapter we promise he won't die again.
Also, you will get to meet both Dr. Wilbur and Relisha Jones for the first time.
Part 1 of, "Digging for a Mole" an all-new episode of,
The Incredibly Silly Adventures of Star-Alignment Man!
(We promise he won't die next time.)
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The incredibly silly adventures of Star-Alignment Man
HumorIn a world where there were no Super Heros, one man was born with Super Powers. Unfortunately, those powers only worked once a month. Even more, unfortunately, he had no idea when in the month those powers would kick in because it only happened wh...
