One Eternal Ember

Chapter 26

Kasdeya

   After returning to my chambers in a rage, I cant help but pity the Captain. I know he is only trying to do his job, and protect the royals but I'm not a threat. King Garou deserved his death. Despite this King leaving his people to starve, and innocent women and children to die, he hasn't done anything worthy of an execution. A bitter tang fills my mouth, and I fight to swallow it. With a sigh, I remove my cloak and my boots, leaving them by the door. I remove my hair from the ponytail it's in, and nearly groan as my long obsidian hair falls along my shoulders and down my back.

  A memory floods back to me, as I walk towards my bed and I smile. Castiano and I playing in the mud as children outside our childhood home. Our caretaker Vernon watching us in disgust, and amusement as we tackle each other endlessly, fighting over a perfectly circle rock. The way my hair sucked in the sunlight, same as Castiano's. The joy I felt in being there, with my brother, my twin. Castiano is older than me by one minute. When we were children he reminded me of that everyday for his own amusement, and it never bothered me. I was just glad to be there, his twin sister, the other half to my whole. A pain enters my chest, and I shut it out along with the memory. The comfort of my sheets greets me in the warmest embrace, almost saying Welcome back, I missed you. I cant help but smile because well, I missed it too.

  I rise from my dream with a scream, my throat dry, and my face wet from tears. I search my hands for any signs of blood, and feel no relief when I find none. My quick breathing continues for awhile until finally I rise from my bed, and walk to my door. I stoop down and put on my boots, and grab my cloak and slide it over my shoulder, feeling a little warmth. Then I quietly open my chamber door, step outside, and shut it with the skill of an assassin.

  I glance frantically from left to right, being sure to check the dark corners of the corridor in all directions. Once I'm satisfied I am safe, I silently take the familiar trek to the balcony down the corridor, and finally breathe when I step outside.

  I cant keep waking from my sleep like this. I don't know how long I screamed for, and I don't know who I could've woken. I close my eyes as the sea breeze blows its familiar scent of salt and pine, and feel my shoulders relax. After a few moments of me inhaling the air, I feel more calm. Then it hits me. Like a slap to the face, and a punch in the gut I smell that familiar scent of Midnight blossom and crackling embers.

"Cant sleep?" He says from behind me, and this time I dont jump.

"No." I rasp, my voice scratchy from my screams.

"I know the feeling."

I close my eyes and run my hands through my hair, not seeking for any words to respond with. I feel him walk next to me, and lean on the railing. He doesn't look at me but I have a feeling he knows there are dark circles under my eyes, and I am paler than when I arrived here two weeks ago.

"Wanna talk about it?" His voice smooths over my skin like honey and chocolate. I shake my head, and feel his gaze turn to me. After a few long moments of silence I sigh and turn to him.

"I have nightmares that even screaming won't wake me up from." I look at my hands, somehow comfortable sharing this information with him. Despite barely knowing him, he seems to be someone I would call a friend. I could always use one of those. A friend. I look up to find him watching me, his moon hair shining like the most beautiful snow, and his formal attire gone. He's wearing a simple black short sleeve cotton shirt, that compliments his arms perfectly. His trousers are black, and made of cotton as well, and his boots are perfectly clean. He says nothing, he just waits for me to continue.

"Every night. Every single night I dream the same dream. Some details are different some nights, and on other nights it's the same exact thing over and over again. I cant make it stop." I watch him for any sign of judgement, but find none so I continue. "I've felt powerless most of my life but this-" I sigh. "This is the most exhausting thing i've ever dealt with, and I don't know how to make it stop." After that confession, I find it hard to look him in the eyes. After arriving in Thessia two weeks ago, the nightmares came back. Only this time they were worse. Nearly exactly after I first made eye contact with this Prince, and I cant tell if it's coincidence or not.

  In the two weeks I've been here, all thats happened has been attending the Kings council meetings. I don't stay for very long, I'm only there to be shown off as a weapon. Once the Council members from every country eye me down like a war prize, I'm escorted out. It's been the same thing over and over each day. Wake up from a nightmare, get dressed, Delano escorts me to the council meeting and out of it, takes me on a walk of the grounds, returns me to my chambers, I train in the afternoon, visit Lillith in the Libraries, attend dinner in the dining hall, return to my chambers and sleep, then repeat. The truth is, I think I'm losing it. Ever since the night on the cliff with Prince Malakai, I've avoided him. Not because I regret becoming his friend, mostly because I don't know what to say to him. Or how to even be a friend. I never had very many friends back home, so this is all new to me.

  I begin to turn my head to look over my opposite shoulder, feeling embarrassed I just opened up like that. Before I can fully look away, his hand snaps out and grabs my chin between his finger tips. His hold is not painful, but is still firm. He steps toward me, and turns my face to look up at him. He's a lot taller than I thought, being this close to him he stands at about six foot four. When our gazes lock, it feels like the whole world goes quiet. So quiet the breeze died, the crickets became silent, and even the sea seemed to calm down. For once in my life, it felt like peace.

"Those nightmares will never stop Kasdeya. You will always have them. It's what you do to manage the pain they bring you, that will change you. You'll begin to feel more powerful, and no longer worry if you're losing yourself." If I'm losing myself? How did he- "I know you feel like that because for three hundred years I felt the same way. It was the same thing over and over again. Sometimes it still is. The only difference is, it doesn't control me like it did before."

"When does it stop?" I whisper.

  His eyes soften for a second, then harden. "When you find your peace."