A silent song writer /The Music Freaks; Jake and Milo

Chapter 5 | A brutal brillant idea!

TW: Abuse/ Mention of suicide

Milo fell asleep on Jakes lap. Jake wasn't sure how this all happened. He had mixed feelings.

Should he be angry at his mother? He couldn't forgive her hurting Milo, but it's not the first time this happened and he would always forget it. Or mostly had other problems to remember.

He wasn't even sure if his mother was to blame. It all came from the abuse of his father.

Jake also felt tired. He picked the sleeping Milo up and gently put him into his bed. He stroke Milo's hair and looked at him but his thoughts are in thousand different worlds.

He snapped back out of it and put a blanket over Milo.

"Should I give him a kiss or would that be cringe?" He thought to himself and made a funny face while looking at his dog.

The dog just gave him the most judgmental stare a dog could ever give and Jake decided not to.

He went back to his room and locked it up. He sat down and wrote changes for the Song they will sing at the competition.

He felt  tired.

He felt sad.

He felt pain.

And he felt comfort in those feelings. He didn't know why. If someone would try to give him a cure he would simply deny.

For him the only solution would be...

"Wait no! Not those thoughts again!!"

Jake said to himself. He often thought of killing himself. But since his brother was born and now that he had friends he has responsibilities. He could not leave Milo with a mentally ill mother. At least as long as Milo isn't eighteen. Which he isn't.

Or maybe Jake didn't want Milo to fall into depression? Jake knew deep down that Milo cared for him even though Milo didn't like to show.

And his friends? The music club?

His friends could be jerk sometimes... and he often wants to take a knife and kill himself in front of them just so they feel guilt and regret, but they were still his friends. He wouldn't want to scar them with the loss of a dear friend.

The same for the music club. Even though he thinks sometimes some of them still hate him for being a jerk. Maybe they wouldn't care then.

"Wait that's brilliant" Jakes tired face lit up with sunshines. "If I make them hate me before I die, then they all can live happy, right?" He looked at his dog, who gave a "wtf dude" face.

How should he do it?

Brutal?

Sad?

It pained him to think about hurting his friends.

But then he smiled, his eyes dead and tired.
"If I die then all the pain is worth it..."

He slapped himself to wake up.

"What am I talking about??? Why should I hurt my friends??? Why should I hurt Milo??? I am so selfish, God this is actually such a dumb idea"

He walked around his room thinking about the Pros and Contras.

-Flashback again-

His Mom was in the kitchen and his dad was watching TV and drinking as he yelled at a Football player for kicking the ball wrongly.

He was standing with his mother and his new born brother. Jake stroke Milo's skin.

"Moooommmm~ are you sure that Milo isn't a girl...!"

Jake whined, he was happy that Milo and his mom both were healthy but he still wanted to have a "cool big brother which the friends have a crush on" image.

His mother didn't answer. She starred at the Bellpaper that she was cutting.

"You know that Mommy loves you right Jake"

"Yeah! I love Mommy too and I also love Daddy and I also Love Milo!!"

"WHY WOULD YOU LOVE YOUR DADDY AS MUCH AS YOUR MOMMMY?!?! I DID EVERYTHING FOR YOU!!! WHAT DID YOUR FATHER DO TO PUT ME AND HIM ON THE SAME LEVEL????"

She screamed at Jake, who was horrified. As she yelled those words she grabbed his small shoulders tight. He cried and Milo cried.

He knew how his father was.

He didn't hate him though.

He took Milo and ran upstairs, not trying to calm the crying baby down.

-End of Flashback-

Well...

Maybe they will still like him even if he is mean to everyone like it was with Jake and his father.

But is it still worth trying..?

A/N: Sorry for not updating, I've lost access to my account. I hope I didn't keep anyone waiting for too long though ❤️

XoXo