Chapter Thirty-Nine: Grief

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This wasn't happening, it couldn't be happening, it was impossible.

Matsuda was limp in his arms, Rantaro trembling behind him, and a cluster of guards trying to decide if Komaeda was meriting being killed as well.
He couldn't see Kamukura any more, Nagito had collapsed after the weight of the man fell into him.
He was still warm, but blood was seeping out of the wound, staining his pure white robes.
But the pirate couldn't care less about something as trivial as that just then.


How was Matsuda even here, he had been on the ship!
The cries of soldiers dying at Kamukura's hands were of no concern to Komaeda at that moment, his hands were desperately trying to find a pulse on his neck or wrists, even doing as much as pressing his hand into Matsuda's chest to feel for a heartbeat.


He couldn't feel anything and no signs of breathing when he moved his touch over Matsuda's nose either.


'Fuck, shit, fuck shit fuck', That that all that raced through Komaeda's head, along with begging him not to really be dead.
Everything around him felt fuzzy, nonexistent even.
He pulled the limp body closer, brushing aside the man's dark hair without thinking.


Even his eyes had closed, showing no signs of life. It had been instant death, and it was almost impossible for Komaeda to control his own breathing at a steady pace.


It wasn't fair! He had barely known Matsuda but the man had saved his life twice now! He couldn't even say thank you, or a goodbye.
Why... Had a pirate with such potential, with such kindness and skill and bravery... Sacrifice himself for someone like Nagito?
"Lock him up as well," One of the guards directed towards Komaeda, but the buccaneer had no will to even attempt to run.
Tears stung his eyes, blurring his vision before they began to roll down his face, showing no signs of stopping.


He could feel Rantaro clinging to his arm, attempting to pull his attention back, but there was no point.
No matter what he did, only death awaited in his future.
So why try at all, when everything would only be in vain?
The guards started to reach out to him, but then the men stopped, their arms freezing in midair.


The fluffy pirate needed all the energy he could muster to raise his head, seeing the decapitated men crumble to the ground, their heavy armor clanking loudly as they fell.
The buzzing athwart Komaeda's ears dulled to a silence where his gaze locked onto Izuru standing before him, blood varnishing his face, breathing slightly harder than usual.


Nagito didn't even think about it at first, his mind so muddled with fear and overexertion that his brain couldn't comprehend what had just happened before him.


The Pirate King dropped his sword and kneeled before Matsuda. He smelled strong of irony blood that made his clothes run red, but it didn't appear as though Izuru cared about that for one moment. His scarlet eyes narrowed as he reached out a pale hand.
Out of instinct, Komaeda pulled the lifeless body closer but didn't stop Kamukura from softly brushing a hand across Matsuda's cheek.
"He came out of nowhere..." Nagito bit down on his lip, unable to stop his sobs. "Why did he... I don't understand, he didn't have to die."


"Saved us both," Rantaro muttered behind him. "And thank you too, Pirate King," The man bowed his head, as though he were really speaking to someone of the royal family. "You fought fiercely for a man you never met."
The dark man closed his eyes before turning his head away without a word.


What could have been running through his mind? Matsuda had been his right-hand man, his partner. They had to have had a close bond for that, and he was gone in an instant.
From the corner of his eye, Komaeda caught sight of Fuyuhiko pulling himself up the stairs, hobbling weakly.

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