Fragile - A Bucky Barnes Story

Innocent?

It's been weeks. Bucky has tried every way he knows that is possible to make me happy, smile, giggle or as content as possible in hopes that someday I'll forgive him.

He brings me food every day, several times throughout the day. He picks me flowers from the grounds even though it makes everyone else, especially Tony mad as hell.

We had movie nights, date nights. He did little things for me that would make me pause and smile, thinking how simple it was and how it made such a big impact on the butterflies in my stomach.

And yet, I'm still scared witless that it is too good to be true.

I'm still mad as hell. I had to live eight months without him in my life.

Bless his heart, he was trying so hard to relieve those fears and frustrations while still being cautious of my feelings. He didn't push any physical contact with me, kissing was fine with him.

But fuck, I wanted more.

So I broke down and told Natasha one night that Bucky was busy on a mission with Steve. I told her everything, down to the last gritty fantasy that my degenerate mind came up with. I told her how I wanted him to dominate me, how I wanted him to talk dirty to me, how I wanted him to throw me around like a ragdoll and take me in the most lewd ways. I told her how if he didn't make a move soon I would be forced to act out my immoral thoughts and probably run him off.

So of course, she went and blabbed to Steve, who ran straight to Bucky with the new information.

And of course, after Steve came into my new office and told me point blank that he had told Bucky what Natasha had told him, I nearly had a stroke.

"The fuck you mean you told Bucky?" I stood up, knocking over the physical files that accompanied the physiological exams I'd been working on for the new recruits.

"He needs to know that you aren't happy with his sappy puppy dog act," Steve said pointedly, his arms crossed over his chest. "It was cute when you were flirting and all but he needed the heads up that it's time to move past that phase, and trust me I think he's been ready for awhile."

"Well that's just perfect, he's going to get a complex-" I sat back down roughly in the swivel chair and dropped my head onto my desk. I closed my eyes and groaned. "I told Natasha in confidence. Its not Bucky's problem, its me. I'm the one having the issue."

"He still needs to know that you aren't happy," he reiterated, uncrossing his arms before he moved to sit in the chair in front of my desk.

"I am happy with him, I'm not happy with myself, I have all these fears and anger in me. Oh man, Bucky is going to be so upset," I lifted my head only a few millimeters and let it drop back on the desk. "So fucking stupid, Lucky, so stupid."

There was silence for a few minutes as I rambled around in my mind, trying to figure out what to do now. "I need to know exactly what you told Bucky, was it more like I'm not happy with him being kind and considerate because that's not true or was it," I pause, banging my head again. "That I want him to actually touch me, take control, I want more than middle school shit because this is really important with how I take the next step."

"It was less middle school shit, more imaginative fantasies," Bucky's voice caused my stomach to do hurdles, my heart dropped down to my pelvis and all I could do was let out a groan and bang my head again. "You're gonna need to stop hitting your head on your desk if you want me to blow your back out, I'd feel guilty if you had a concussion."

My head raised and tilted at his relaxed body leaned against the door. I noticed Steve wasn't in the room anymore but I was more confused by Bucky's words. "What?"

"If you want me," he pointed to his chest as he walked into my office, his other hand reached behind him to shut the door. "To blow your back out. Stop hitting your head."

"Bucky please," I stood slowly, holding my hands out in defense to stop him from continuing, even though my legs clenched at his words. "I don't want you to be uncomfortable and feel like you have to do this."

"Oh I don't have to do anything I don't want to do," he answered nonchalantly as he walked around my chairs, his hand trailing over the armrest of one chair. "The only thing that really makes me uncomfortable is knowing that my girlfriend could tell her friend all these things she wanted me to do, to her instead of me."

"Um," I bit my lip as I watched him taking slow steps around my desk, closer to me. "I didn't want you to feel bad, like what you were doing wasn't enough. Or for you to run scared."

"Well, I wasn't doing enough," he stopped to lean against the side of the desk, his eyes roaming over the contents on top as he spoke. His hand reached out to grab one of the balls on the newton's pendulum so it began clacking. "I wasn't showing you how bad I wanted you. Do you know every single time I have been around you, I have to go back to my room and jack off? It's been pathetic on my part, my only release was the fantasy of you swallowing my dick or taking you from behind."

My eyes widen and a strangled squeak comes from my throat. My panties become damp at once.

"If you've had thoughts like that, and from what I was told, you do, you really do," chuckling darkly, he leaned off the desk and took a few steps towards me until he stood right in front of me. "Why didn't you tell me? I have been on my best behavior since I met you, not a hair out of line. If you wanted the depraved part of me, all you had to do was say so."

"I didn't think you were like that," my throat was dry and my words cracked as they came out of my mouth. I focused my gaze on his chest, watching the steady rise and fall of his breath. "I thought I was the deviant one and you were kind of, traumatized and innocent, fragile maybe."

He laughed heartily as his hand reached out and his fingers gripped my chin, lifting it to connect our eyes. "There is not a single cell in my body that's innocent, Lucille and you're about to find out I'm not even close to fragile."