to you... ... from me

to you...

I like you, a lot more than you could possibly imagine. I've liked you since the summer of 2014. I never really had the courage to talk to you in person until school started. believe it or not, I'm actually a really shy girl. yes, I'm loud and most of the time I could care less what people think about me, you are different... a good different though! you make me laugh and smile. you're such an amazing person, inside and out. you may not believe it, but its true. anyways, like I said, since last summer. you know how I like you, but I just wish I knew how you feel about me. you tell me you don't know yourself, but don't you have some form of opinion? I'd like to hope so. yes, I know you say that we're friends, but do you want to be more than that? I honestly don't know why I'm wasting my time writing this. you're never going to read it, but I guess in a sense that's good. when it comes to my feelings about someone, I tend to hide them. you know that. when everything went on with my grandma, you were there for me. I mean sure, there were other people there for me as well, but you're a guy. it's a different perspective. you know how I felt on the subject and hey you stayed up till two in the morning, talking to me and helping me get through this. when you told me that you would miss me if I were the one who was gone, I cried even harder that night. _____ I don't think you have any idea how much I like you. tbh, I might even love you, but you'll never know that. you were there for me in my deepest, darkest time of need. truthfully, I thought about those things that I know I should never do, but I thought about them. hell, sometimes I still think about doing them if I'm going to be completely honest. I'm crying right now writing this because I know that it's not going to fix anything, it'll just prevent anything from getting better. sadly, I know you'll never be mine. I'm not worth anything to you. you're just another. guy I'll meet in my life and if nothing works out in the end, then I hope we can still be friends in the end. I don't want to lose you, ever. you're such an incredible guy, ____. thank you for always being there for me when I needed you. so, I'm pretty sure that I do love you, but you'll never know that because you won't read this

            ... from me