Moon Song / Hotch x Reader

part five: the day after tomorrow

-Christmas Eve-

It comes faster than I thought it would, and soon enough I'm dressed in borrowed clothes from Oak; a pretty red dress that falls to my knees. All three of us are going to church tonight, and we make the short walk to the gray building, Aaron greets us as we walk in and then take our seats. The service is beautiful, all about the gift of peace and forgiveness, and I feel content. The service is only an hour long, somber yet full of hope. We hold candles and sing Silent Night, and I can't help but cry a little bit. The choir at the front is ethereal, their voices ringing out above us. They leave the lights low as the service ends and people make their way homes with their families.

"Can I just sit here for a second? I'll be home when I'm done." I say to Oak and Bobby.

"Of course, Y/N. Take your time." They leave me, and the chapel quickly empties out. I hear the mirth in people's voices as they're getting their coats, hugging each other, and wishing each other 'Merry Christmas'. I think about all my prayers, ones that I believed to fall on deaf ears. Tell me how does God choose, whose prayers does he refuse?

"This seat taken?" I hear from behind me and turn around.

"Spencer?" I say, surprised. "Uh, no. What are you doing here?"

"I didn't want you to be alone on Christmas."

"Spence, I'm with my sister, I'm not alone," I say, picking at a loose thread in my dress.

"You know what I mean." He says, taking a seat in the pew beside me. After a couple of minutes he says, "It's beautiful in here."

"I know. I've been coming here a lot."

"That's what your sister said." I shoot him a confused look. "I ran into her on the way in here." I nod. "How are you feeling?"

"Good, actually. Despite everything I'm doing okay." I smile at him, and he smiles back.

"I'm happy to hear that. I have something for you. He didn't want to send it in the mail."

I blink in surprise. He knows they sent me a letter. Spencer pulls an envelope out of his back pocket. It's a little wrinkled, but I would recognize that handwriting anywhere.

"I'll be in the entryway when you're done," he says, handing me the envelope and getting up to go.

"Spencer." He pauses, looking back at me. "Thank you."

I open the letter carefully with shaky hands. There's two pieces of paper inside, and I read the top one.

Y/N,

You are my home. I miss you. It took losing you to make me realize that. I close my eyes every night and I dream that I can hold you. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel, about the blood that's been spilled but I know one thing for sure – I love you. To the ends of this earth, I will love you. Every time I look at you, it takes everything in me to not fall on my knees at your beauty. I know I don't deserve you and I'm sorry for everything. Come home when you're ready, I'll be waiting for you.

Love,

Aaron

I look at the second piece of paper and gasp. It's a copy of a divorce page. Signed by him and Haley. It's dated a week ago. I close my eyes and hold the papers to my chest. My breath is raspy in my lungs, and I don't know if I'm going to scream or cry.