I tried, I lied, I died

| I tried | |1| |

"Taylor Sweetie Will you be home tonight?"
That was the question I got asked everyday.

"No mom Im going to Mel's." I wasnt going to Mellisas but thats what I told her anyway.

"Okay just be back before dark." She smiled and gave me a hug.

I left to go meet Cody. My boyfriend of a year. We met the summer before junior year. Im now a senior and suprisingly were still together.

My mom thinks that since I go to "Mel's" Im happy. Truth is Mellisa and I aren't even friends anymore. She hates me she can't stand my mood swings, she can't stand "sad" people so she stopped talking to me.

Im severely depressed. I don't eat. I don't sleep. I cry a lot and everybody thinks im so happy even my mom and cody.

It goes farther into detail than that but im not getting into that right now.

"Hey baby." Cody said as he swung an arm around my bony shoulder.

Cody doesn't even know half of it. He thinks I eat, I sleep, and the only times I really broken down in front if him is when I lost Mel. But he doesn't know about the times that I spend in my room crying.

Wearing long sleeves does wonders for you.

Cody is captain of the soccer team. Hes muscular, nice looking and sweet. But when I met him last year I wasn't like this at all.

"So do you want to come over to my house to study?" He whispered te last part. I blushed looking at my the tile hallway.

I just nodded my head.

"Great maybe we could start right now." He pulled me down the stairs where the un-used lockers were and pushed me against them.

He started kissing me neck and Inknew he was going to leave his mark there.

I wrapped my legs around him and he lifted me I moaned against his neck.
He made his way back up to my lips and kissed them hungrily.

"Hey man you down here!" Mark Cody's bestfriend yelled. "The bus is here we got to go."

Cody let out a long sigh as he set me back on my feet.

"This isn't over with." He whispered as ran upstairs to go leave for his game.

I walked to first hour by myself and sat down in my usual spot next to the window.

The day went by fast and it was almost time to leave. 7th hour. Only one more hour left.

I walked to the library and says down on one of the big couches and thought about tonight.

Cody and I never had sex before but sometimes I don't want Cody I want his brother. I want Ashton.

He has dark brown hair and he's pale. He has muscles all over his body and he has these red plump lips. He's twenty-four so its illegal since im only seventeen.

But- Im loyal to Cody I would never cheat on him.

Cody wasnt back from his game yet so I just went home.

I sat down on my bed and layed back into it.

I grabbed my journal and started a new entry.

Dear Journal,

Today was fine. Nothing happened, I smiled a true smile, I didnt have any bad thoughts I ate two strawberries and milk for lunch.
Im trying to be happy, im trying to eat.
Im trying.

-Taylor

I started writing in a journal so I could mark down my progress.

Whether it was something happy or something sad.

Nobody knows I have it.

I figured Cody would be back by now so I took a shower and changed into a light purple matching lace lingerie. I put on black yoga pants and a red and black loose t-shirt. I slipped on some red vans and left.

My brown hair was straight down my back as I swung while I walked.

I pulled up to Cody's house and literally ran to the door.

His parents were home so for the first time ever I actually knocked. His dad doesn't like me. But his mom loves me.

"Taylor! Its so good to see you." His mom said as she led me in.

"Cody's in the basement." she said as she went back into the kitchen.

Thier basment was cool. It was the ultimate man cave- which wasnt really a man cave anymore since everybody goes down there.

Cody was sitting on the couch playing FIFA.

"Hey babe" I said as I plopped down next to him.

"So I really need to study." I said as I kissed his jaw.

He stopped playing and grabbed my ass lifting me onto his lap.

Cody straddled me so I was sitting on his lap and he trailed kiss down my neck and chest. The next thing I knew my shirt was half was across the room.

"You're such a bad girl." He mumbled as he set me on my back and hovered over me, His shirt was off now and so were his jeans.

I wiggled out of my leggings and I was laying there in my im under garments.

"Are you sure?" He asked I shook my head yes and moaned a little to loud when he took of bra and rubbed my breasts.

He slid my under wear down and now I was bear.

He kicked off his boxers and started down at me.

"Beautiful." He mumbled. He kissed my lips and moved on to my neck.

I looke down at his length it had to be at least seven inches.

Before we could do anything the basment door was swig open and somebody came running down the stairs.

"Whats going on?!"