not so fond

Tl'ezan

TW: losing a family member, Blood, Crying, Sad. Nightmares, Unresolved trauma

As you and your father made your way home his scolding could be heard by anyone who was in a 10 mile radius. "I ask you one thing, one thing Y/N and you cannot do it!" The words slap you across the face wanting to respond but you aren't able to. "Would you want Sezan or Lorno to see you behave like this? To see you hurt?" You begin to walk ahead of your father not really wanting to hear what he had to say. He grabbed your arm pulling you back slightly, "Y/N you are their older sister, the one they look up to, You mustn't make mistakes, Not like this!" He yelled baring his teeth unintentionally. "Ma syulang (my flower) you are better than this, do not let tl'ezan down." Being unable to fight it, a small tear rolls down ur blue cheek unsure if it's from the pain of your throat or the fact that your dad rarely let you have freedom due to uncontrollable influence you had on your younger siblings, you simply nodded looking down as you father let go. As if Eywa was connected to your emotions heavy rain fall began to occur soaking your braids and covering you and your fathers skin is harsh drops of water. You both continued to walk and run fast until the familiar sight of the hut came into view. The flap was pushed open aggressively as you and your fathers wet bodies stumbled in. Your tears hidden by the rain drops running down your face, didn't deceive your mother. The loud thundering rain was muffled slightly as the flap closed your arm letting it drop. "Y/N what has happened?" You mother questioned her eyes widening all over your neck and hands splaying open ready to put them on your shoulders. You shook your head wanting to just go to bed "She cannot talk." Her attention snapped to your father who had just spoken and was now sitting cleaning your bow and arrow from the rain water. "What happened ne oeyä 'ite?"  (to my daughter) Your mother growled anger growing by the second. "It was during training sh-"
"DURING TRAINING?" Your mother cut him
off, her loud voice causing your younger brothers to stir in their naps. "please ma txe'lan (my heart) do not shout." your father pleaded eyes travelling to his sleeping sons. "Ta'achi why." more of a demand than a question your mother spat hands now off your shoulders but body in-front of yours, in between your father and you. "She is not your solider, she is not you..........and she is not tl'ezan." She said as she began to break down on the last word. Your eyes shut as the memories flooded your mind, becoming overwhelmed you opened your eyes not wanting to see what was buried deep into your mind.
Heavy tears cascaded from your amber eyes down to your cheeks and lips.

Tl'ezan. Eywa how you missed him, he was your older brother, everything you wanted to be: funny, strong, great warrior. He was the best and you love him. He was put under a lot of pressure by your dad but he always made time to play or hunt with you, he was awesome.

"TL'EZAN!" younger you shouted as he came home from the hunting parties mission, you ran to him as he grabbed your head shaking it around. "Hello Y/N, are you okay?" he asked chuckling happy to see his little sister. Although he was 16 and you were 13 the bond couldn't be closer. "Ugh yes" you said pushing his arms off your head laughing "Come and see what Sa'nu (mother) and i have made ." you exclaimed giggling dragging him further into the hut. As you pulled him in he met with his mother whom he greeted and kissed on the head before his eyes landed on the beautiful new beads that hung onto his songcord. His eyes widened at the sight. "Tewti Sa'nu, irayo." (Wow mom, Thank you.) He said mumbling the words as joy and adoration fuzzed his senses. " i helped too!" you chimed in, causing all 3 of you to laugh. Your mom handed him the beads allowing him to place them onto the side of his loincloth. "It looks good." you complimented causing your brother to grab your head into a hug and thank you also.

That's one of the few memories of your brother you like to remember as it didn't involve the yelling of your father or the frustration your brother felt because of him.