sorry, i'm not sorry || hyungwon monsta x fanfic ||

49.

nari could feel her heart tighter than usual. it was that pressure she would feel in her chest when she was nervous about something. whether it was a big assignment or test results. but this time it was different. she had never been through this before. she never thought she would.

he was holding her hand. he always did this when he drove. one hand on the steering wheel the other holding her hand. but this time, he wanted to hold her hand. make sure to have as much touch, as much of her as he could before they parted. also he wanted to prevent her from picking at her nails. a bad nervous tic he noticed earlier on. he knew this wasn't easy. wasn't easy on either of them but it was something he has to do.

they had been driving in silence. even after they picked up his mother. she would occasionally say something to the couple and they would respectfully respond back but she could tell they both were uneasy. uneasy with the fact that they would have to leave one another.

yesterday hyungwon and his mother made the decision that it was best for her come to be there for nari, because there was no way she'd let her drive home alone. and hyungwon knew his mother would be best to comfort his girlfriend. even though nari said she would be fine he just knew she would be upset.

none of them didn't know what to say to one another but due to the circumstances it was understandable.

he knew nari cried last night, after they had dinner at his mother's. although she hid it so well. he could tell some thing was off by her barely touching her food. and the way she just kept curled into his side. she used the fact that it was dark to conceal her face and emotions. but he knew her voice already. the shakiness in her tone when she'd say something to him. he knew the way she sounded when she was upset. he knew her all too well already. he noticed the puffiness in her eyes this morning, that are still very noticeable.

it could also have been contributed by the fact that they barely slept last night.

all they did was hold each other taking in each other's company and warmth. not even saying much of anything. occasionally they would say they love each other or he'd lean down and kiss her on her forehead, cheeks,  lips, shoulder. anywhere for that small intimate moments, to reassure her, and himself that they would be ok.

he glanced over at her as she looked out the window. the weather today was so gloomy. cloudy, cool, and the ground wet from the rain this morning. the melancholy atmosphere matched their somber mood.

he hated that it was so quiet, but he didn't even know what to say to her and he knew it was mutual. they didn't want to be upset. they didn't want to break down.

jaesook looked up and seen the words army training center and her jaw clenched softly. she knew the familiar feeling since she left her other son years ago. that time it was slightly different, she still had her husband. her support system. now she was dropping off her older son, the one she leans on. her new support system and she didn't have her husband with her. she can to be here with her son but more so to be there for nari. because she knew nari barely had anyone to support her. she would find a knew support system.

he pulled into the parking spot and turned the vehicle off. as they sat in silence for a second. nari watched as men walked over with family, friends or even by themselves, ready to start their boot camp, to train.

he gently squeezes her hand, kissing it softly before letting it go. "let's go." he whispers to them as he gets out the car taking the keys out the ignition. jaesook got out with her son. while nari sat in the car for a second before getting out and walking around the vehicle and over to him while he grabbed his book bag from the back seat. he puts it on closing the door before he takes nari's hand as they make the walk over to where they would depart.