Stitches

Chapter 1

A short fix-it of sorts I just had to write after finishing Tomorrow. Don't look too closely at the logic, I wrote this in the middle of the night and I'm not even sure it makes sense.

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A month isn't a long time when you have eternity before you but for Park Joongil those thirty-one days have felt longer than the centuries, he'd spent working for Jumadeung. Time has never gone by slower than during those days where all he'd known was darkness and the cold, sharp as the blade he'd carried proudly in his first life. And with nothing but time on his hands and the new memories of a life long forgotten - of a beautiful dream turned dark - he can't help but regret and silently weep for the Koo Ryeon and Park Joongil of the past.

They had been happy, so, so happy but fate was a cruel mistress and had taken their most precious belonging - their love for each other. The director may say that fate does not force a person's way, but Joongil won't try to pretend for even a second to believe that they were solely to blame for their end.

Ryeon, his brave, ferocious wife had not chosen her way alone; there had been many responsible for it - the people they had protected and who' d turned their back on them, surely his mother must have pressured her as well, never having liked her much, and then there had been himself.

Once, he had asked Ryeon why it took only a few words for people to change their mind and hold on for a little while longer, and only now he realises how cruel it had been to her to hear those words from the lips of the man she had once loved. Only a few words were all that were needed to save those people, but now he fears if his words back then pushed her over the edge instead of catching her.

He can't shake off the guilt.

He'd told Ryeon that pride had made him go after her, a lie told to keep both of them afloat.

Love had made him forget reason and search and search for days without giving up. Love had kept him alive during the war. And love had made him furious at the world that hurt his beloved. Love had turned him into the beast he'd seen in his Ryeon's eyes at their last time. Love. He wonders what she'd say if he told her the truth.

The thought makes him laugh with madness, entire body shaking from the force.

As if he would ever get the chance to talk with her again. No, this time he'd protect the woman he adored, he would not fail again.

Back when he hadn't recognized her and the betrayal of a trusted subordinate had stung, he'd disrupted her work as often as possible, always a biting remark on his lips. This time he'd stay away. This time he'd let her get the peace she deserved so badly. This time love would not kill her. He wouldn't allow it.

Time passes and Joongil is certain in his choice but then Ryeon comes for the second time, and it changes everything.

She walks slowly towards him, almost as if afraid he'd send her away. It looks all wrong, Ryeon - past and present - never faltered. She wears her official reapers' uniform, and he admits if only to himself that she looks beautiful. Though what catches his gaze the most is the brilliant red around her eyes, now far more worth that he remembers the meaning behind it, and it makes his eyes burn with unshed tears of sorrow. He wonders what she came for when his existence only hurt her.

"Joongil," she murmurs softly, kneeling in front of him, hand twitching almost as if to reach out to him.

Her eyes are glassy and Joongil regrets.

"Ryeon," he whispers, closing his eyes because it hurts to see her regarding him as a beast. "Forgive me."

He doesn't deserve forgiveness, knows it too but he can't stop those desperate words from leaving.

He hates himself for being such a hypocrite; asking the director to block his memories because the pain was too much to endure but blaming Ryeon for giving up after surviving for so long. He hates himself more after letting that shameful wish escape.

Forgiveness is too much to ask, a thank you is more than enough, and he already received it.

"There is nothing to forgive."

The touch on his cheek is hesitant but it's there and when he opens his eyes again, he sees Ryeon holding his face tenderly.

"It wasn't your fault."

The first tear slips from his eye, falling down her hand and the chackles around his heart shatter. He cries.

Through hazy eyes he notices Ryeon's widening eyes filling with fright. He knows it's because she's never witnessed him cry before, he'd always held it together because he had to be strong. He's sure she must have heard him break after her death - he's aware of the punishment of those that commit that sin. But it is something else to only hear his pleads than to see him in all his broken glory.

The cuffs on his wrist burst and he's suddenly pulled into a hug, face pressed into her neck as strong hands brush the back of his head soothingly.

"Joongil."

His name sounds like salvation and damnation from her lips.

"It's okay now. I... I'm here."

He's selfish again, clinging to what is no longer his.

"I'm sorry my actions hurt you when I only ever wanted to protect you."

He feels Ryeon tremble, but she'd always been stronger than him, saying what she wanted without fear.

He pulls back, lifting his head to look her into the face. Her hand slips from his hair and he misses it instantly. This time he chooses to be brave as well.

"I still love you. It has always ever only been you."

Ryeon doesn't flee instantly, nor does she slap him like he believes he deserves. Instead, she averts her gaze, lips pulled tight.

"You can't. The string connecting us has been cut by my own hands, you know that. Our paths are no longer entwined, haven't been for centuries."

Intellectually he knows Ryeon speaks the truth, it's the punishment for those that have sinned, and he'd thrown the accusation around so carelessly. But the words of the Director come to his mind, and he clings to them. The Director is only ever a bystander, a witness to the change of time, and a person's choice defines their path.

"Do you think you could love me again, even after everything?" he asks, fearing and awaiting the answer at the same time.

He can't allow himself to be selfish again.

"Does it matter? I've made that choice for us a long time ago."

"It does."

Ryeon doesn't reply for a long time and Joongil already fears of having pushed her too far, but eventually she nods faintly.

"I never stopped."

The border between love and hate is such a thin line, she lost count of how many times she had crossed it.

Its' everything Joongil had needed to hear and more to take a leap of faith.

If Ryeon received the choice to cut their string, who was to deny him the choice to tie them together again?

Without warning he reached out for her arm, pushing up the long sleeve and taking the red string around her wrist carefully into his hand. He hears Ryeon inhale sharply as he pushes up his own sleeve and displays the same strings tied around his wrist.

Tenderly, he picks one of the strings, pulling a little bit as it resists his touch at first but then it seemed to recognise his touch and loosened happily. He did the same with his own string, bringing the two together. A tie is made and for a terrifying second nothing happens before a blinding light surrounds the string between them. When the light dims their string is whole again, strong as it had once been.

"What..." Ryeon stares at him overwhelmed, glancing from the beautiful string to him and back again. "How..."

Joongil feels like laughing again. The foreign feeling of happiness filling him and warming even the coldest part of his soul. He feels his wounds slowly heal, the warmth of the retied string a soft bandage on cuts that have never stopped bleeding.

"I'm the master of my own life, I decide who I belong to."