Xiao X Reader [A Fragment of My Memories]

[32] Delayed Consequences

"Tell me, (Y/N), why do you go so far for him?" 

You loosened your grip on the weapon, tilting your head in confusion. "...why?"

"Yes. You've only known him for such a limited time." He narrows his eyes. "Well, assuming you still don't remember anything."

"Ah." you dropped your gaze. "You're right. I guess I haven't known him for that long, but–" You held the weapon tightly. "He's still someone I care about. Every part of me is telling me to stay close to him." 

Then, you looked him straight in the eyes. "How long I've known him doesn't matter."  

Zhongli's eyes widened as he saw the fiery determination behind those eyes. 'What a powerful soul...' 

"You just might be able to endure it all."

________________________

It was a clear, moonlit night. 

Xiao was left standing amidst a pile of fallen hilichurls and monsters. All radiated the same black fumes, reminding him why he must continue fighting. And why he continues to endure so much pain each passing day. 

He shook his head, fighting off the sharp pain that persisted. "Their numbers keep increasing," he mumbled, looking down at the demon pile that stretched far ahead into the horizon.  

Picking up his polearm, he trudges past the wake of destruction he created. His breaths were heavy and labored, and his eyes were half-lidded from exhaustion. 

Even so, he mustered up the strength. Before he knew it, he found himself standing on the wooden floorboards of Wangshu Inn's rooftop. 

"Xiao!" A familiar voice called. His eyes widened for a second as he saw you waiting right there for him. "Are you okay? You don't look well..." you said.

'I could say the same about you,' he thought, spotting the dark circles around your eyes. Even so, he found himself leaning forward, resting his head on your shoulder. 

"I'm just tired. That's all," he mumbled, closing his eyes. His tense and rigid body relaxed as your sweet scent engulfed his nose. No matter how difficult the battle was, he made sure to come home to you every night. 

You sighed in relief. "You don't have any injuries. Thank the Archons..." you said, wrapping your arms around him. "It was getting late, so I–"

You cut yourself off when Xiao returned the hug. "Forgive me if I worried you, (Y/N)," he said. "There were more to deal with than usual. I'm just tired."

"Ah! Then, you need somewhere to lie down!" You pulled away from the hug, looking around the rooftop while your expression slowly turned into a frown. 

"I don't need to lie down. Besides, there's nowhere for me to–"

"How about my lap, then?" You looked at him with a smile. 

His eyes widened while his mouth was left agape. "Your... no, there's no need." He immediately shook his head.

"Why not?" You grabbed his hand. "It's fine! No need to hold yourself back."

Xiao felt the gentle warmth of your hand through his glove. "Are you sure?" He averted his gaze.

You giggled. "Of course it is! Here." 

You sat down on the floor, tucking your feet under so your lap served as a pillow. "Come on!" you beckoned with an inviting smile.

How could he say no to such a thing?

A wave of tiredness took over as he gave in and laid his head on your lap. "It's comfortable..." he hummed, closing his eyes. 

He felt your fingers combing through his hair. The very sensation soothed the pains he had since earlier, relaxing him even more as he leaned into the warmth of your lap. 

But how about you?

"(Y/N)?" Xiao opened one eye. "Don't you feel tired at all? It's late. You should be asleep." 

How strange. Was it the moonlight? Or did you look extremely pale tonight?

"...I'm not tired at all!" You sat up straighter.

Xiao sighs. There was no getting through to your stubbornness, it seems.

So he closed his eyes again, letting you play with the strands of his hair while a soft breeze blew past.

'I didn't know someone's touch could be this gentle.'

Time seemed to melt away as he rested. He only noticed the moment your hands stopped moving. A sigh escaped him as he imagined you fighting off the urge to sleep right about now. 

He cracked an eye open. Just as he thought, you were already nodding off, leaving your hand on his cheek. 

"(Y/N)? You should go and sleep. Don't worry about me." He held your hand as he sat up. 

"Huh? No... it's fine..." You were already slurring your words. "I want to... stay with you longer... Can I?"

Xiao's eyes widened. "You–" he sighed, covering his face with a free hand. 'How are you able to say these things so casually?' He struggled to hide the growing redness of his cheeks.

"Alright. Why don't we switch places, then?" he said after some silence. "You rest on my lap." 

You looked at him with widened yet tired eyes. How strange, did you get even paler?

"Okay... I'd like that..." you mustered up a small smile. 

Xiao immediately moved beside you, sitting on his heels to give you enough room for your head. "Here," he said while looking down at his lap, avoiding your gaze. "You can rest here." 

He waited, but you did not respond. 

"(Y/N)?" 

He finally looked to the side, just in time to see you collapse onto the floor. Like a rag doll knocked over by a gust of wind.

"...(Y/N)!" He rushed to your side, moving strands of hair away from your face. The dark circles around your eyes seemed more pronounced now as the moonlight illuminated your pale face. You were barely conscious, and your breathing was more labored.

"What's wrong?!" Xiao's voice came out panicked, more than he ever thought was possible. 

You struggled to get words out as you looked up at him with barely-open eyes. Xiao leaned closer to you, hoping he could hear whatever you were trying to say.

"...it... hurts..."

Your voice was so quiet, but it was enough for Xiao to feel as if time had frozen. 'It hurts? What hurts?' he wanted to say, but he was so stiff, so tense. 

He could only look at you with widened eyes as you finally lost consciousness. There was only one thought raging in his mind. What happened to you?

No, he shouldn't be asking that. He should know. For the first time in millennia, Xiao felt fear as he opened one of your closed eyelids. He needed to check. And sure enough, he saw it. No one else could, but since he's lived with it for so long, he could tell. 

You had karmic debt inside you. So much that he could see black fumes reflecting off your eyes. It was too late. 

Xiao leaned back, burying his face in his hands. He knew he shouldn't get too close to you. He knew he shouldn't be touching you so much. The karmic debt he accumulated was too dangerous for a mortal to handle. He knew all that. 

He knew all that, but he still chose to hold you close out of his own selfishness. 

Xiao looked at your pale figure one last time. He watched the way your chest erratically rose and fell. You were suffering. 

"What... have I done?"