You are my sunshine, my only sunshine

Ian

Liz's pov

Liz's thoughts:fuck!

My blood runs cold when I realize the Pandora's box I've just opened. I can't hang up now...can I? Maybe I can break my phone? Throw it on the ground or. Crush it with my hands? Stupid. I was so stupid. I was happy and stupid and I completely forgot about...him.

Liz:...Ian?

Ian:y-yeah! Yeah, it's...its me...shit. Sorry. I haven't heard your voice in so long. Are you okay?

Liz:I-I'm fine.

I said. You know. Like a liar.

Liz:what are you doing calling me right now? I'm at work. You really shouldn't be-

Ian:I know, I know. I didn't actually think you'd pick up this time.

I can hear bell chimes and people in the background. They're muffled, but he's definitely not at home.

Liz:...where are you?

Ian:I-I'm at the airport. It's actually why I wanted to talk to you. Consider me lucky I guess. That you answered, I mean...

Liz:...I didn't actually mean to, you know.

Ian:I'm not surprised...

Liz:I'm still mad at you.

Ian:I know...

Liz:...we can't keep doing this. I-I'm trying to move on. I don't need this in my life right now.

Ian:move on? You're moving on? You're not seeing anyone new...are you?

Liz:that's...that's none of your business. Is it?

Ian:it kind of is? I want it to be. Look. I'm about to fix all of this. I promise.

Liz:I don't think you really can.

Ian:I'm going to try anyway. I've known you for how long now? I've known that...this is worse then anything we've been through. And it's 100% my fault. But please...don't throw me out yet. Even if I deserve it...you're what I want. And you're all that I want. I'll be there to show you soon.

Liz:...goodbye, Ian.

I press the hang up ending the call. I need a second. Leaning against the cold, stainless steel counter...I feel about to crumble. I was doing so well to forget...

Jack:...are you okay?

Shit. I don't want him to see me like this. I hastily wipe my eyes of all leakage and try to straighten up.

Liz:y-yeah! I'm...fine. I'm okay.

Jack:you shouldn't lie. It's not good for you. That, and...you're also not very good at either. I'm sorry, haha.

I stifle a chuckle of my own.

Liz:it's not a lie...it just...hasn't happened yet. Gimme a bit, I'll be okay.

That seems to make Jack feel a little better.

Jack:alright. I'll take your word for it. But...you know. I like hearing your truths. They make you...you. And I'm telling the truth when I say. I'll be here for you whether you're okay or not. I'm not going anywhere. You can trust me.

The softness of his gaze is almost enough to melt me, but when he caresses my cheek supportively, my heart jumps into my throat. I've felt so bad for so long...I almost felt guilty, how he seems to make it all just disappear. How I think I...maybe I might just...no. No, something isn't right about this. I feel for him...but something about this is too good. I won't use him as a bandage, to cover up the feelings I don't want to feel. And so soon after Ian...

Jack:w-what's wrong? Did I do something? You seem upset...

Jack hood lingers, even tightening a small bit. But I gently take his hand into mine and away from my face.

Liz:you're fine. I'm just...dealing with a lot right now.

Jack:I can help you, then. Just tell me what you want. What you need.

He looks like a kicked puppy now. I hate to rebuff him, especially with how intimate things got earlier...but I haven't heard Ian's voice in so long. I don't feel very good right now...

DING-DING

I hear the front door open. Customers, probably. We aren't scheduled for any health inspections that I know of. I shove my phone in my pocket and shake off the dampened mood. No time to feel sorry for myself. Corporate capitalism demands mandatory smiles.