the adventures of jesus H christ

What happened outside of Walmart

I was waiting outside of a Walmart for my gay uncle (fr) to pick me up.

When suddenly there was a blast of light, and the clouds opened up and a man floated down, while a bunch of non-biblically accurate angels sang in a really cool melodic voice while a dove flew around.

i knew who it was instantly.

"LIL NAS X‼️ ITS YOU‼️"

"Bitch what?" The man from the clouds said.

"Wait- you're not Lil Nas X." I said.

"Nah dawg, I'm Jesus."

I then saw that Jesus was dressed like a gangsta, he had W rizz too.

"Okay homo- I mean homie, I'm gonna go buy some weed." And then Jesus flew away.

There was an old man who was praying, but now had a shocked look on his face.

This clearly wasn't the second cumming of Christ he was hoping for.