Maya wasn't quite sure what to do with herself. She was feeling very shaky and still kinda sick as she walked with Ben and Pru to go find Miranda who had just finished up in surgery and was more than happy to get hugs from her husband and daughter, tears fresh in her eyes as she scooped Pru up into her arms and kissed her over and over again on the cheek.
"Stop it," Pru giggled playfully.
"Ok," Bailey said, setting her down, knowing she had to respect the toddler's space, "I just really missed you today."
Pru wrapped her arms around Miranda's legs and hugged her again as Ben also hugged his wife. While it was so nice to see her friend reunited with his wife after such a long, awful day, it also felt like a solid punch in the gut for Maya who knew the chances of her being able to do the same were slim to none.
She wasn't angry at Carina about it because she understood her wife needed space, but her heart broke in a million pieces when she thought about Carina processing the hell she had witnessed that day alone in a hotel room that felt so cold and lonely.
"Maya," Ben said, interrupting her thoughts, "I am going to take Pru home. Did you need a lift back to the station or anything?"
"No," Maya said, "I...um...I think I might...Miranda, do you know when Carina is off?"
"She's supposed to be off in about an hour," Bailey said, "But I don't know now because of all the chaos. I can see if Dr. Jankins has come in yet to relieve her though."
"It's ok," Maya said, shaking her head, "I...um....is it ok if I go wait in her office? Or near her office maybe? I don't want to be in her space, but I want to make sure she's ok and I just...I don't think I could safely go back to work or go home. I need to be here."
"That's fine," Bailey said, "I can let you into her office if you want."
"Actually, I think I'll just wait in the waiting room on the Labor and Delivery floor," Maya said, "I don't want to invade Carina's space too much if that's not what she needs today. I just want to be close in case she does."
"Are you sure?" Bailey asked, "I mean, the lobby isn't very comfortable."
"I don't care about that," Maya shrugged, "I just want to be around if she needs me without pushing her if she doesn't."
"Ok," Bailey said, "Do you need anything?"
"No," Maya said, "Absolutely not. I should be asking you that. You go home and hug your husband and your kids. I'm just fine here."
"I am actually not going home. My patient is in the ICU with an open abdomen. I'll probably be here all night," Bailey said, "But Bishop, for what it's worth, I think she is going to want to see you. Today was...today was a day I never thought would happen and yet here we are. None of us are ok nor will we be for a long time."
"I know," Maya said somberly, "I just don't want to make it worse for her."
"Bishop, it can't get worse than this," Bailey said, "This...what happened today...this is the worst. You being here cannot possibly make today any worse for your wife than it already has been."
Maya nodded, swallowing the lump in her throat after hearing those words. Just then, Bailey's pager went off.
"I need to get back to my patient," she said, "I will tell the charge nurse to le you into Carina's office if you change your mind."
"Thanks," Maya nodded as she headed to the waiting room while Bailey gave her husband and daughter another quick hug before going back to her patient.
