Never Would I Ever - Toby Turner Fanfiction

Richard Simmons

TOBY'S P.O.V

I heely down a small corridor inside LAN, glancing around the area and spot a large, stuffed sports bag leaning against a wall. I slowly make my way towards the bag, exaggerating my expressions and checking my surroundings as I do. I then spot the iPhone resting atop the bag, its screen pointed at me and its front facing camera on and recording.

I pick up the phone and exclaim "Audience? Wha- what are you doing on my sports bag at the airport? Are you catching a plane today Audience? Oh the same one I'm catching? That's mighty precarious and a little creepy of you Audience..."

I laugh to myself, pick up my bag and do my usual intro to officially start the vlog. I blab on about who knows what; to be honest I don't even know why I'm vlogging right now, it's 2 in the morning, no ones gonna be online to watch it. But I figured since I didnt make one yesterday I owed them one now, no matter what the time is.

So I stroll casually around the airport, talking to my phone and ignoring the tired, annoyed and weird looks I have thrown my way throughout the vlog. I've gotten so used to them I hardly ever notice anyway.

I decide to finish the vlog with my leeeeeeaaaaaaan back (mostly because I really needed to stretch) and the signature BOOP!  

I immediately upload the video straight to my vlog channel

Thank you airport Wifi 

You're welcome Toby

Hey Wifi what's the time?

I don't know I'm just wireless internet

I check my watch 

2:13am

My plane leaves at 20 past so I grab my bag and begin heelying towards the terminal

I have a 10 hour flight now, then another half hour one to get to my Mystery Tour location (something I just decided to make up for an excuse to go somewhere for no actual legitimate reason other than I'm bored). I'm hoping to make it a regular thing.

The Audience know I'm going somewhere, they just have no idea where exactly. Which is good. I don't need stalkers.

Once I'm sitting down in my spot on the plane I begin to feel the nerves coming on. I'm not actually very good with planes, but I'm good at acting like I am. I sometimes manage to trick myself into thinking I'm perfectly okay with them. But that only lasts until around this point.

I take my deep calming breaths and wish I had some chamomile. I love me some chamomile. The hothothothot air hostess walks by and I cant help but look.

Dat ass

I shake my head and bite my lip, grabbing out my phone and switching it on airplane mode. And then I play Temple Run. Man I'm addicted to this game.

I wonder how long I can play this till my battery dies

It could totally last 10 hours right?

I let out an unecessarily elongated sigh.

This is going to be a  flight.

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The change between planes doesn't take very long, but I have to ask for directions to the next terminal 6 times. I guess that's what I get for choosing a country I've never visited: getting lost easily. But it doesn't bother me too much, everyone's so friendly here.

I get on the next plane, which is really quite tiny compared to the last. I could walk the entire aisle in 4 strides. But then I guess I have rather long legs. I say a quick "Hey" to the guy sitting next to me as he grabs out his phone and headphones, and I do likewise.

The pilot talks over the intercom with the coolest accent ever. I love these accents.

Welcome to this Air New Zealand flight to Wellington. We will be taking off in roughly 5 minutes and should arrive in the capital at about 10am. The weather is looking good today so there should be no problems besides a bit of turbulence every now and then. Now please fasten your seat belts and turn your attention towards the screens for the in flight safety video.

I slouch down in my seat preparing myself for the regular old safety video. I only half listen to what the screen is saying, until I spot a familiar character doing aerobics in what I guess is a leotard. I fumble through my bag and pull out my glasses. I decide straight away I don't need them as my eyelids expand and my mouth drops.

I spray saliva all over the seat in front of me and desperately try to stop laughing. Failing to do so,  I spend the entire video with my face buried into my shoulder, tears rolling down my cheek and inhuman noises escaping my mouth.

Richard Simmons doing aerobics on a plane with what I assume are famous rugby players and a couple other celebrities I recognize, all in an Air New Zealand onboard safety video. This really just made my life.

The video finishes and I wipe my tears, glancing around to make sure no one noticed. I don't think any one besides my neighbour did, and he just laughs and says "Welcome to New Zealand"

That makes me chuckle again, and I proceed to introduce myself, allowing him do the same. We end up talking the entire flight and I even take a picture with the guy. We both picked up our water containers and stared at them precariously.

During the flight I figure out that the plane actually has free Wifi ONBOARD. I asked the guy about it and he seemed so nonchalant about it like it wasnt that big of a deal.

Obviously I was super excited and immediately tweeted about it.

On a flight with FREE WIFI ONBOARD. How freakin awesome is this?

 Once the plane lands, me and Kevin (my plane buddy) part ways and I am left to wander around yet another unfamiliar airport. I can't even find the dang exit.

I whip out my phone and begin turning it on, and manage to get myself distracted by a little scratch on the screen. I try wipe it away, as if that's going to do anything.

I sigh and glance up, just quick enough to see someone right in front of me storming off somewhere, but not quick enough to stop myself bowling into them and knocking them straight off their feet. And to make things worse, their iced coffee in their hands was suddenly on their head. 

"This is just FANTASTIC" She screams, obviously long past frustrated.

I can't seem to get the words out fast enough to stop her temper rising with the passing seconds.

"Oh my god are you okay? I am so sorry I was just- I was lost and I was looking at my phone and I didn't see you there and-" I stop mid sentence. Her shirt. I know those letters.. And that word. It matches mine exactly, except well hers is the womens make and it's navy blue. I assume she bought that colour to match her extremely bright purple jeans and black canvas shoes.

"You're an Audience member?" I can't even believe my luck