Our Stories

About Winter

hey it's Winter.

well most of you guys would be wondering why I choose winter as my anonymous name.

lwell for once I don't know how to explain that. but I think...Okay 50% of my brain thinks that winter could somehow relate to me.
how?

well, we all know winter is beautiful even though some of us had never experienced winter (me) but under the layer of beauty there is the sorrow... the pain and hard ship. yes. it's hard to believe that. and that's why there is this quote:

" The prettiest smiles hide the deepest secrets.
The prettiest eyes cry the most tears.
The kindest hearts have felt the most pain. "

if you understand it then you will know about what all those who understands this thinking. we all have gone through the pain, tears, and we hide all of them with a fake smile.

well.it's okay to.hide. but at least tell us your story n let us help you.

what my story?

well, to most it could just be normal or not even as sad or painful as theirs is but to me. it was the worst thing I've ever experienced.

at the age of 5 on kindergarten. well, I've a group of friends. we were called the 5 golden girls. well. let's just say things weren't going well for me. in every group of course there's a leader. all I can say about her is that she got this attitude which I hated. yes. she would boss me around and if I was not gonna corporate with her she will ask the other 4 to ignore me (not be friends with me *children's way of thinking* )so... I got bullied, friendship broke- trust broke.

hooray

so when I was 7 I thought I could start over, New school new friends New clothes new everything I can restart my whole life. but boy was I wrong again trust and friendship let me down. I was boycotted. a victim. well for 4 years in my new school (primary) it was hell.
again and again I was picked on. boycotted. it wasn't nice. sometimes when.I can't take it anymore, I would think of why was I even born?! thoughts invaded my mind. and it was horrible.

sometimes when some people asked me about trust or friendship or when.they even mention the word "BFF" part of me inside was hurting. I never and I could never get or feel what does BFF means. I was hunted because of my friends and trust. basically if anyone was to talk to me or mention about friends and trust saying it was cool and awesome and asked me about how I felt towards it. I would answer:

"oh Ya it's cool. yeah for best friends, yeah for trust hooray."

but inside of me would be hurting and saying:

"Do you know how painful is it to be hurt and hurt by your friends?
Friends that you thought were loyal to you?
Friends that you thought you could trust
And in the end
They stab you from behind
At the weakest part
And kick you down a stairs full of thorns and nails
And in to a lemon pit
And laugh at you when you are at your most painful part
And no body understands
And they keep trying to tell you to be brave
Stand up to them
When you have tried
And it only makes it worse
As they can stab you harder
And inner
N twist it
And pluck the blade out
And stab you again
And you will always
Have the scar
To remind you
Forever
How painful it was
And it can never heal
No matter what
You will always have that
As an experience
And it will always remind you
About it
And you can always feel the pain
No matter where you go
And that scar change your life
Change your character
Change your way
Of seeing the world
It breaks your childhood into millions of pieces
Like glass that shattered
Into fine powder
And it can.never be joined back
It freaking hurts
I barely escaped
I barely survived
I was far from okay
I survived by changing to another school
I ran away
The problem was never solved and it still hunts me
They hunt me in my dreams

In reality
They made me.never to trust people
Made me to close
but it Makes you stronger
yes
But through painfulness
Like elsa from frozen
"Don't let them feel, don't let the see"
It's freaking hurts
It hurts so much
It hurts so much that I want to scream
And die
and That the world is so unfair
So.unfair to me
Why can't I leave a happy life?
Why must I go though all of this?
But the answer will.always be
"The best person have the worst experience"
Or whatever

I've been bullied for 6 years
6 years
For 2 years I was bullied.in kindergarten my trust was hurt Then when I went to primary
I thought things would.be better
But I was wrong
I was boycotted
For 4 years
"Why do they choose you out of so many people"
because Of jealously
Of envy
Of hatreds

Faking...
Is helpful sometimes
I used humour to cover my pain
so the world would think.I'm okay
where are deep.inside I know.I'm.not.

so please don't talk to.me about trust and friendship."

...

Ya

I'm pretty sure most of you here thought like that before. it's pretty depressing... but that's how you will feel when you go through all this stuff. but I had put it in the past. a past just to teach me to remind me about the horrid of people of humans and what they can do at such a young age. I was never physically harmed in all this bullying. but I was verbally bullied. and being verbally bullied is as painful as physical. with verbally bullying you can hit a person's heart right in the center of it. and it can never heal unlike physical.

I would cry and let all the bottled up feelings but once I was done I look in the mirror let my red eye and my Rudolph nose to go back to it's original state and walk out of the bathroom like I had never cried.

we all need someone where we can trust and tell all our stories
- happy or sad
- problem solved or not

we couldn't care less if it's an ugly story tell us and we will help you as we know how hard we wanted to be heard. everyones_secret is always here let us help you.

Winter

"smile and let the stars light your way"