3x6 trauma
Underlined things are notes/ideas/changes needed
!!fic will be longer/more in depth, this is just the base of it to get ideas down
Maybe this is the day he finds out svet is pregnant?
He finds out his dad wants him to marry her and he knows this will absolutely crush Ian
This was the only way. Delete this so it'll be more of a surprise?
The only way Mickey could ever be happy.
Anything good in this world, ruined.
Any light, burnt out.
He is a storm cloud racing to drown out a shining afternoon.
Standing between Mickey and life.
He couldn't look Ian in the eyes anymore. Only catch glances when he's not looking. It hurt so much. Those sparkling green eyes that lit a fire in his soul every time he saw them. The smile that made his heart skip a beat.
Gone.
Mickey's light, now as black as night. (I want something like this and wrote it like 8 times and it still didn't sound right)
It had been months now.
Ian didn't speak more than he had to now. Always in a hoodie like it was his security blanket. Arms crossed, staring into space. Still had a bruise on his cheek. Maybe another chapter where I go into Ian's side?
He needed to get Ian back.
His Ian.
He knew that it was not going to happen. Nothing will ever be the same.
It was all his fault.
He should've never asked him to come over.
A part where he talks about how excited he was to have Ian over?
He should've pushed Terry off faster.
He could never forgive himself for letting Ian get hurt.
He was so stupid to think that he could ever have something nice. Just one night.
Terry had ruined Mickey's life numerous times.
But don't you fucking dare touch the people he loves.
Shit. Does he love Ian?
Fuck.
He'll deal with that later.
He had given it enough thought.
The only way he could be happy.
The only way they could be happy.
Too much?
Mickey shook his head to free his thoughts, rubbing his eyes before he looked up. His tired eyes stared back at him through the mirror. His bed creaked as his body shifted. Maybe here I will put Mickey having flashbacks to sitting on the bed with Ian? I need to go deeper into his pain
Enough was enough.
The sound of the television drowned out his thoughts as the bedroom door cracked open.
His father, snoring, a spilt beer can in his lap. The TV glowing around his silhouette as Mickey came up behind him.
He raised his arm, placing a gun up to the back of his own father's head.
Mickey had thought long and hard about this. The ways he'd do it. It's the only way he will be able to live.
He put his finger on the trigger, holding the gun in one hand like this was an easy job.
He had never been so sure of anything in his life.
He thought about Ian.
That sad face that crushed his soul.
Those sad puppy eyes.
The tears down Ian's face.
Terry took away the best thing that's ever happened to him. He took away his light. Mickey's sky, now pitch black. It hurt so much. His chest became tight.
He moved the gun closer, the barrel now pressed against his head. Still snoring. Laughing came from the sitcom that was playing.
He'd be doing the world a huge favor.
He's shot a gun so many times.
Why couldn't he do it already?
Mickey raised his arm higher, pointing the gun to the side of his own head. A tear streamed down his face. He just needed it to end. He didn't care how anymore. Maybe I'll describe the feeling of the cold metal barrel pressed against his forehead instead of just saying the guns on his head
He stared at the wall. They'd never be together. Mick would never be happy. With this life? And Svetlana now being pregnant? Let's face it. It's not happening.
Music started playing on the television. His eyes glossed over the screen. It was a wedding scene. A bride walking down the aisle in this dramatic montage.
When the camera turned to the groom,
It was a tall man with red slicked back hair with a bowtie. A deep grin spread across his cheeks. Sparkling green eyes.
He looked just like Ian.
Mickey sighed and dropped is arm.
His face emotionless, but his eyes red and wet.
Even on the slight chance they will be together someday, they probably wouldn't get married.
If he dies, he will never know.
ALT ending:
Sparkling green eyes.
I describe him seeing ian, and realizing that he will never see that sparkle again. He decides he needs to see it right fucking now
——
Middle of the night, he just went through what he went through, needs to see Ian immediately, Ian see/feel the tears on his face, Mickey covers his mouth/kisses him so he doesn't speak and wake up lip, Ian kisses his forehead and holds him close,
They fall asleep together? Ian covers him with his blanket
Mickey is gone before everyone wakes up
maybe he walks out and sits under the L?
maybe he runs to Ian? Idk. Maybe this is where I write when mickey sneaks into the gallaghers house and they fall asleep together
Oooo I can start with svet being pregnant, his dad needing him to marry her and how it connects to what's already written is that he knows this is going to absolutely crush Ian and the chances he has with him
