Secret Secret || Felix

1

Felix and the rest if his members had been practicing for hours Felix was exhausted he felt collapsing Felix didn't have a binder so he used bandage he put it tight around his chest making it a bit flatter he couldn't order himself a binder because staff check their packages just incase it's from a crazy fan

Felix couldn't breathe but luckily they were having a break he chugged down a bottle of water trying to get his breathing steady he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and he hated it he saw all his imperfections his girly hips his thighs his arms everything was to girly he hated himself for who he was although he always seemed so happy to everyone he wasn't he wasn't lost in his thoughts until someone yelled that they have to start practice again

All the members went back in position and continued dancing for another few hours practice was finally over which everyone was very happy about they were all happy to go home

They all headed out to their van that had to take them home everyone got in the van once felix got in the van he fell asleep on Chans shoulder since they sat next to each other

After about 15 minutes they got to their dorm once everyone got in the dorm felix yelled at the top of his lungs 'I'M SHOWERING FIRST FUCKERS HAHA' Jisung gasped behind him 'language young man'
Felix never let anyone shower with him for obvious reasons

Felix quickly went to his room and grabbed all the things he needed
Once he finally got to the bathroom he got underdressed ignoring his reflection in the mirror it felt refreshing to get in the shower at first until hes fresh scars were burning which he forgot about thankfully the burning went away quickly he had been in the shower for at least 20 minutes so he finally decided to get out once he finished dressing himself he went straight to his and Chans shared bedroom and into his bed he decided why not go on to Twitter which is an app he barley uses he was really happy until he saw a few posts making tears form in his eyes

Stayloveshyu : Felix is a fat baby he doesn't deserve to be in skz

User143556 : yes he just doesn't fit in with them at all his always looking for attention like a little baby

Those comments broke Felix's heart how could 'stay' say such stuff about him Felix got up out of his bed and went straight to the bathroom despite not eating all day he stuck he's finger down he's throat until he threw up he made himself throw up at least 3 times before getting up washing his hands

Chan was sitting in the living room which was right by the bathroom he heard everything his heart shattered hearing Felix make himself throw up without even eating all day he was worried about felix but didn't wanna ask any questions

Felix didn't look up he just went straight to his room and got back into bed covering himself with blankets not even bothering to check his phone again

---

Chan couldn't ignore it any longer. His heart ached for Felix, and he knew he needed to check on him. Chan quietly walked to their shared bedroom, hesitating for a moment before gently knocking on the door.

"Felix, can I come in?" he asked softly, hoping not to startle him.

There was a long pause before Felix's muffled voice responded, "Yeah, come in."

Chan opened the door and found Felix curled up under the blankets, only his eyes peeking out. Chan sat on the edge of the bed and placed a comforting hand on Felix's shoulder.

"Hey, I heard you in the bathroom. Are you okay?" Chan asked, his voice filled with concern.

Felix avoided his gaze, feeling ashamed and vulnerable. "I'm fine," he lied, but his voice cracked, betraying his true feelings.

Chan sighed, knowing Felix was far from fine. "You don't have to pretend with me, Felix. I'm here for you. What's going on?"

Tears welled up in Felix's eyes as he finally let down his guard. "It's just... everything. The practice, the way I look, the comments online. I can't take it anymore, Chan."

Chan's heart broke hearing Felix's confession. He pulled Felix into a gentle hug, feeling Felix's body tremble with sobs. "You don't have to face this alone. We're a team, remember? We support each other no matter what."

Felix clung to Chan, finding solace in his friend's embrace. "I just feel so out of place sometimes. Like I don't belong."

"You belong, Felix. You are an important part of this group, and we all care about you deeply. Don't let those cruel comments define you. They don't see the amazing person you are," Chan reassured him.

Felix sniffled, feeling a glimmer of hope from Chan's words. "Thank you, Chan. It means a lot to hear that."

"Anytime, Felix. We'll get through this together," Chan said firmly. "And please, take care of yourself. If you ever feel overwhelmed, talk to me or anyone else in the group. We want to help."

Felix nodded, feeling a bit lighter after opening up. "I will. Thanks, Chan."

Chan smiled warmly. "Good. Now, how about we watch a movie or something to take your mind off things?"

Felix managed a small smile. "Yeah, I'd like that."

They spent the rest of the evening together, watching a movie and talking about lighter topics. Felix still had a long way to go in his journey of self-acceptance, but he knew he had a friend in Chan who would always be there for him. And that made all the difference.

a/n : it's not that long sorry I don't have motivation :(