When You Are Young They Assume You Know Nothing

I'm only seventeen I don't know anything, but I know I miss you

   James didn’t know what on earth he was doing.

Well, he’d just had sex, so there's that.

His thoughts wander back to Betty, as they always do. He wonders what she’s doing right now, if she’s reading, if she’s drawing, if she’s thinking of him. She’d switched her homeroom and blocked him a couple weeks ago, and he blames Inez. She’d heard rumors of him with someone else, and James knew he’d ruined everything when she finally blocked his number.

     He wonders what he’s going to do with the invitation to the beginning-of-year party that Betty had given to him prior to the incident. He can picture her now, her golden-blonde curls hanging around her heart-shaped face, her pale cheeks flushed in the heat and the smile on her lips as she looked at him, the brightness in her blue eyes as she smiled.

She definitely isn’t the girl in his bed. Or rather, her bed. That would be Augustine, the girl he’s been with for the past couple weeks. Her brown hair is splayed out across the white bed sheets, which are now tangled around their torsos. 

She’s looking at him, her brown eyes fixed on him lazily. She tilts her head thoughtfully, then says, “So I was just thinking about how-”

“I should go. I told my friends I’d meet up with them in half an hour,” I cut her off, unable to have a conversation at the moment, not when he needs to break off this relationship of a sort he made with her. But not now.

James walks around the room, putting his clothes back on and checking his phone yet again when he knows all too well that he won't have any notifications. “Alright then,” he hears her say distantly as he leaves the room, unable to glance back as he shuts the door behind him.

He picks up his skateboard and gets on, the wheels scraping on the concrete. He turns onto her street for no reason at all, and sees her house, sees the porch he can remember dancing around in the dead of the light, illuminated by the dim lanterns framing her door, and wonders where it all went wrong. 

I shouldn’t have come here. There’s people everywhere, and the push and pull of the crowd is nearly inescapable as he fights his way to the side of the dance floor. A song he faintly remembers Betty loving is playing from the far side of the gym, and he can’t see her anywhere, and there’s too many people everywhere and he can’t escape.

And suddenly he can see her dancing on her own, golden hair shining around her as she spins, and everything is okay, and he’s walking towards her.

But then he’s there, and they’re dancing, and she’s smiling, and James can feel his heart sinking as he walks away. 

He’s just turned the corner when he hears the grating of rubber on cobblestones next to him, and there she is, jewelry nearly glowing in the fading sunlight, her hair unbound and shining, her dark eyes fixed on him, a slight smile on her red lips as she rolls the windshield down.

“James, get in. Let’s drive,” Augustine says, tilting her head. He gets into the car, some part of his brain screaming at him to stop. He finds that he doesn’t particularly care, and focuses on the girl next to him. It’s just a summer thing, he thinks, and he lets her take the lead.

After this, they spend many days together, and those days turn into nights, and he’s not sure what he’s doing anymore but he can’t seem to stop. But when they’re all done, and he can hear the cool night wind rustle his curtains, he’s not so sure it’s Augustine he’s thinking about anymore.

It’s been two weeks, and Betty’s party began half an hour ago. James is standing two houses down from hers, where no one can see him. Not that he’s hiding. He quickly makes his way to her place, before he can talk himself out of it. His nerves are going crazy, but he quickly shoves them away, approaching the crowd of people gathered in the front yard. 

Heads turn, eyes widen, but he doesn’t care.

Inez is glaring at him, but he doesn’t care.

He doesn’t care because Betty is looking at him, an unreadable expression on her face.

“Betty-”

“What are you doing here, James? I thought I told you I never wanted to see you again.”

“Please listen to me, I’m so sorry about everything I did, but I l-”

“Wait!” a hand grabs my elbow, and suddenly Augustine is there, her eyes wide. “Don’t do this, lets just talk-”

“Look, I’m sorry, but I love her. You wouldn’t understand how that feels.” He says to her firmly, pulling his arm out of her grasp and turning away.

“Betty,” I begin, “I’m so sorry for everything that happened. I shouldn’t have cheated on you, but I want you to know that I was thinking of you every moment, and the only thing I want to do is make this up to you. Can we start over?”

She hesitates, glancing past my shoulder. “Listen, I wanna do that, but are you sure it won’t happen again?”

“I promise, it was just a summer thing. I miss you, and we’re only seventeen, we don’t know anything, so could we start over?.”

She blinks, and he’s about to say more when she abruptly grabs his shirt and kisses him. There's a brief silence, and then her friends are cheering, and people he’s never said a word to are clapping, and Augustine is nowhere to be seen, and Inez might just be the one person who isn’t joining in, but he doesn’t notice because everything is just like he dreamed it, and this feeling makes him feel like flying.

Thank you for reading, and please tell me your thoughts!!