Anymore

Chapter 3

Marlena walked in behind the girls, smiling as they chattered away. "Where do we want to sit today?"

Carrie pointed. "The booth in the back..."

Sami raced over. "Carrie... you sit by Mom... I want Brady by me..."

"I'm older... maybe he should sit by me..."

Marlena started laughing. "Well guess what I am older than you two put together. So you two sit on one side and Brady can sit by me!" They all laughed and took their seats when they saw Caroline come down the stairs from their home above the pub. Sami and Carrie waved and flagged her down "Grandma!"

Caroline smiled as she approached. "Well three of my favorite people... what can I get you for breakfast?"

Marlena smiled, "Well first we would like one cute brown haired little boy to come join us... I hope he hasn't eaten yet."

Carrie laughed. "He could always eat again... he's like John that way." They all laughed in unison.

Caroline smiled sweetly. "Well ladies, I'm sorry I can't place your order... Brady isn't here." She shrugged.

Sami looked perplexed. "But, where is he? Da..." She stopped herself and cleared her throat. "John said he was staying here while he was gone. He asked me and Carrie to check on him." Carried nodded in agreement.

Caroline nodded. "I know, I know I thought it was odd too. But when I came back from your house last night John had already been here and picked Brady up. Told Shawn there was a change in his plans."

No one noticed Marlena discreetly wipe the tear off her cheek. "Did... did he tell Shawn what the changes to his plans were?"

"Nope, just that he didn't need us to watch him after all. So what can I get everyone, pancakes as usual?" They all nodded absentmindedly.

...

Halfway through the meal Sami nudged Carrie... motioning to their mother just staring at her half eaten pancakes. "Marlena... are you okay?"

Coming out of her private thoughts she smiled. "Sure sweetie... just thinking about a patient of mine." She lied... seemed to be an all too familiar reflex for quite some time now, and she was getting quite good at it.

"Mom... can we stop by Daddy's loft on the way to the batting cage?"

Marlena gave her a teary smile, and softly chided her. "Sami honey... it's John. You're supposed to call him John."

Sami huffed out a muted "Fine, John!"

Marlena took her hand across the table. "I'm sorry, I know this is hard for you... all three of you kids. But it's the way it has to be."

"I don't see why..."

Marlena sighed. "Carrie..." she offered in a warning tone.

"Don't Carrie ME!" Carrie stopped herself and took a deep breath, glancing around to see who heard her outburst. "I'm sorry... it's just... it doesn't HAVE to be this way! It's this way because that is what Roman wants!"

Marlena was trying to hold her tears at bay, but seeing the girl's sadness was bringing them to the surface. "I understand... I really do... but..."

Carrie threw her napkin down. "PLEASE... don't defend him!"

Sami rested her hand on Carrie's arm trying to calm the situation down... she hated confrontation. "Carrie... maybe mom just meant..."

"No, I know what she meant." She looked at Marlena wiping a tear away. "Mom... I'm sorry to let loose on you because other than us kids, I know that you are the only other person who really DOES understand. But, I am not sure how much longer I can take this dictatorship that Dad is running at home."

Sami looked at her startled,"Carrie! You promised!" Carrie shrugged in a noncommittal gesture. "Well if you're leaving... and Eric won't come home... then I'm just going back to Colorado..."

Marlena smacked her hand on the table. "Whoa... just hold on here! How did we go from having breakfast with Brady, to everyone moving out of the house?" She looked back and forth between them. "No one is going anywhere..." staring directly at Carrie, "NO ONE!" She grabbed their hands. "I will figure this out... I will make this right for you... for ALL of us! I promise!"

Carrie slowly pulled her hand away. "You can't Marlena. Don't get me wrong, you talk a good game..."

"This isn't a game Carrie."

"No it's not, and I know you WANT to make it better, but you simply can't because you always give in to Roman's dictates. Do you think we didn't hear yours and Dad's argument this morning? Or the one you had yesterday... or the day before that? He is making our home toxic... and unbearable. And you stand up to him at first... and then you try to smooth things over out of some sense of family unity or guilt... I don't really know..."

Marlena was crying freely now. "We are a family... we are meant to be together... Roman and I made a commitment before God..."

Carrie wiped away a stray tear, "Same could be said for you and John..." Marlena dropped her head into her palms. Carrie stood from the booth. "You all act like us kids are some sort of inanimate objects that can't see or hear what is going on around us!" She sat next to Marlena and put her arm around her. "Mom... we hear the fights, the hushed angry words... we see the conversations abruptly stop when we walk in the room. Now being the wonderful shrink that you are, maybe just maybe you should ask yourself... if you and Dad aren't happy... how are we supposed to be?" Carrie kissed her on the cheek and scooted out of the booth. "Come on Sami... I'll take you to the batting cage, show you some of the stuff John taught me."

Sami scooted out of the booth, tears shining on her cheeks. "I love you Mom."

Marlena gave her a watery smile. "I love you too... both of you. More than anything." She watched her daughters walk away from her... everything and everyone seemed to be moving away from her. "I have to make this right... for all of us!" She hurriedly wiped her face, grabbed her purse and headed for the door... she knew just where to start.