Thoughts? what are they for,
Other then to tell me I'm not wanted,
That my life is useless until someone takes charge,
takes charge of my life,
A life I never wanted to live in the first place,
A life that was never meant to be mine,
A life that could've gone to someone who needed it most,
My thoughts are my natural disasters,
Like the tsunamis, droughts, and hurricanes are to the earth,
but they don't speak,
My thoughts do,
So I have multiple voices in my head telling me to end it all,
but wait until no one cares anymore,
Don't be a burden on the poor souls who actually have a life to live,
be kind and keep your mouth shut,
no one cares,
why didn't you die at birth?...
And I start to think,
Why didn't I die at birth,
I'm useless anyway,
I'm not worth the trouble,
I don't deserve anything I'm given,
I think will I be missed,
I think will I be saved or is it to late,
As the blood runs down my arm from the 30 cuts to the floor,
I think how long will it take,
How long will it take until everything is taken from me,
willfully or not,
how long would I have been able to endure this pain,
This pain that tells me no one cares and I don't matter,
Because I'm starting to believe it,
even tho I know it's fake,
I know that my hallucinations are just trying to hurt me,
and I think it's time,
time for me to take control and live my dreams to the fullest,
But one question still lingers,
How long will it last?.........
