Found Herself

05

TW: mention ⚠️self harm⚠️

We strive for perfection,
But it's an illusion we can't reach.
For in our imperfection,
We find the beauty that we seek...
                                                             by: Derya Bilgin

ANGELA'S POV:

"Goodbye, kiddo." he waives me a goodbye and drives away after I opened my door.

It's a Friday and I have only got 2 days to give 19,000 dollars. I only have got 9,650 dollars. My body hurts pretty bad, so I take a warm shower.

Doing my skin care routine, brushing my teeth, drying my hair and put it in cute little braid, because my hair is kinda short. I lay down on my bed and look up at my ceiling.

My blue ceiling.

I have had the same wall colour for years. No one had time to change it, so I was stuck with this neon blue.

Anyways, as I told you I have only collected 9,650 dollars, but I need more. The money that I am getting from my job is not enough and because of that I will be stealing.

I know. I know what I am saying is absolutely crazy, but I am just going to steal some jewellery from the rich people and leave.

Simple.

It's this beautiful building in Florence where every rich person goes to celebrate there birthday they do meeting and a lot more.

This one is a ball. A fancy ball for people all around the world. I know the in's and out's of that place, so getting in isn't going to be very tricky.

It's tomorrow, so I don't really have time to go anywhere to buy a dress and besides I don't have any money.

Oh, wait. I bought myself this black dress like two years ago for Domenico's birthday party.

I sit up and walk to my desk. This is either going to be stealing, changing the jewellery into cash, giving the money and then living life or getting caught and dying.

Lovely, isn't it?

I sigh and put my hand on my face. Staying like that for a while, I open my eyes and look at the picture in front of me.

It's a picture of my dad smiling while I am held by him smiling with my rabbit teeth and my hair being in pigtails. My mum looking at my dad with a smile only she has. A smile who can light up the whole room.

Alcohol free, drug free and most of all a happy little family, but if only little Angela knew what type of people they would become.

I take a deep breath and walk to my bathroom and grabbing the first aid kit I start to clean my wound that haven't yet been treated. The bruises were gone until I started boxing again.

Wrapping up the last wound I look at the scissors and the razor.

do it.

The only thing that came to mind. I closed my eyes and tried to think of good things. Like Domenico, but something always pushes it away and the only thing that comes back are dark thoughts.

I walk out of the bathroom and go downstairs to get some water to calm myself down.

I don't want to go there again.

I started having suicidal thoughts when I was young. I would do self harm on my shoulders so no one would see, but after a long time of trying to stop I succeeded.

Thankfully.

I finish drinking my water and going up stairs to my room. With a different mindset. I walk into the bathroom and clean up everything.

Putting all of my weight on the bed I sigh and close my eyes.

Tomorrow is going to be life or death.
______________________

Well.....

Hi I guess to the 5 people or less idk.

How are you guys feeling?

That was the chapter. Hope you enjoyed it!

This is my first ever book and first ever time I am writing a book, btw my first language isn't English just saying, so please don't hate.

Bye bye 👋!! 

Words: 674.