Prologue - Mmmm, Salt Water

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'Think'
"Speak"

~~~~~~~~~~

You flailed like a helpless cat in water as you swam towards the vague direction of dry land that you saw before you were swept under. Well, swim wasn't exactly the way to describe it. It looked more like a flopping fish on land... underwater, slowly moving towards the edge. But you didn't know that, you had your eyes closed to prevent the sting of water from hitting your eyes, since your goggles somehow flew off your head when you dived into the water.

You had to hold back tears. You were underwater, with no way to see, no way to feel anything, and no way to breath. It felt pathetic to be so scared of something as simple as water, it was something you were always around. Swimming was supposed to be easy, something simple all people knew. For fuck's sake, you literally needed the damn thing to stay alive!

Yet you couldn't help the fear that overtakes your body when you go under the waves, and the shame of feeling it as well. It just didn't make sense, it wasn't fair. You already knew how to swim and even enjoyed it until your stupid fucking dad enrolled you into swimming classes because "survival skills" and "You need to do something productive during the summer break! Don't you enjoy swimming? You always joined us in water parks."

The internal rant in you head ended when your flailing hand's fingers felt the touch of something solid, and by fucking god you shouldn't feel this relieved to feel the wall of the indoor pool. You scarmbled a bit more underwater, causing waves to ripple on the surface of the pool from you until your head finally rose above to the air. You still couldn't see, your wet hair sticking to your face. And even if it wasn't you still had your eyes closed because you knew there was still extra water on you that would get in your eyes if you did. You've already made that mistake before.

You took the biggest inhale of air as the oxygen filled your lungs. You could hear the distant yelling of your swimming coach but you payed it no mind. You already knew he was scolding you for stopping halfway through again instead of heading straight to the end of the pool. But you couldn't give less of a shit about the stupid fucker.

Your hand hadn't moved from its place firmly gripped on the wall of the indoor pool area, because god forbid you let go, and you go sinking down with barely any way to get back up because you only knew how to move forward horizontally, but with the stress of swimming class you were already forgetting it. How ironic, that the class taken specifically to enhance your swimming skills only made it worse.

You could hear the other students swimming but you payed it no mind, instead focusing on calming yourself down and properly breathing because you could never properly swim while stressed. You ignored the cold air biting at your skin, making your soaked body shiver. You ignored the horrifically strong scent of chlorine that make your nose scrunch up, because you remember that one time your friend told you about how the strong smell of chlorine could mean someone pissed in the pool and the pool always smelled so strongly of chlorine.

You ignore how the children half your age and lower sped through the pool at a rate faster than you ever had in your entire life. You ignored how you could feel your own dad staring at you, and probably all the other parents. You ignored it all, because all the mattered was breathing, above the water, with no water entering your lungs and making your nose feel like its on fire.

You took your last breath before every muscle in your body tensed, bracing yourself to go back under.

~~~~~

"Why did you stop halfway through? I saw you." You didn't answer as you dragged your feet, the bag containing your wet clothes feeling heavier on your body than when you first entered this place. "I know you don't like it, but I saw you swim to the wall. Now I don't have to worry about you drowning." Now that the fear left your body with your feet on dry land, all that was left was a cold bitterness that made you feel like you were dumped in ice.

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