"Am i really worth the while?" *~HYUNLIX~*

'Am i really catching feelings?...'

Hyunjin

As Felix fell asleep in my arms i noticed a lot of small bruises covering his face he looked so broken at that moment.. it only made the urge to protect im even stronger. But why? i thought to myself... Could i be falling in love? things started to make sense why i never wanted to hit him or wanted to be too harsh on him.. At that exact moment i figured i was in love with Felix, how could you not he was to perfect to not fall in love with him. I started to wonder why i bullied him in first place. i then snapped back to see that the movie was almost finished and i saw a giggling pair staring at felix and i. it were none other then jeongin and minho i saw them mouthing 'lovebirds to each other' while seungmin had already fallen asleep on jeongins shoulder.

i then looked back at felix and thought to myself 'how cute can this human being be?' just at that moment felix awoke from his slumber.

Felix

*insert the most adorable kitten like yawn*

As i woke up i realized i was in hyunjin's arms and we were basically cuddling it was oddly comforting i was deep lost in my thoughts until i heard someone say something to me "Welcome back Sunshine" hyunjin said teasingly i couldnt help but giggle at how silly he could be. "how late is in hyunjinnie?" i asked trying to sound as cute as possible "2 am little one" hyunjin said giggling the last part "its 2 am right now why?" hyunjin asked "oh its nothing brb i gotta go to the bathroom real quick i promise i'll be back before you know it" i said putting on a fake smile knowing that i was gonna do some stuff nobody would want to see. "alright i'll we waiting here looking at these lovebirds" hyunjin said while he smirked "EXCUSE ME WHO TF DO YOU CALL LOVE BIRDS HUH? my bae isnt here?!!?!??!!" minho said angrily but jokingly. i giggled as i left to the bathroom telling myself i dont deserve such good friends and that i should just die already..

!TW SUICIDAL ACTIONS⚠️!

As i entered the bathroom i saw that it was cleaned up but my bag was still there meaning my razor should also still be here...right? i decided to look for it and found it pretty quickly i tought they atleast removed it but i guess they forgot since it still lays on the same place where i put it. i grabbed the razor and started to break it so i could get the knife out once i finally did the hatred started flooding over me saying stuff like 

'Just do it you weak ass bitch'

'nobody cares remember hyunjin is your bully'

'they wont even notice if you hurt yourself'

'you are a disappointment to your family'

that was the last straw so i started looking for a new place where i haven't cutted myself yet and i found one... right below my heart.. i started cutting as soon that i saw the place. some of my cuts were really deep and some were just below the first layer of skin. i soon velt really tired probably because of all the blood-loss but it didnt matter... i soon found no more skin to cut so i started to look for another place which had no marks or was fully healed and so i went to my tights since they looked like i haven't touched them in ages which was quite unusual. i sliced right through the skin making alot of deep cuts my tights were pretty red right now.. i then looked at myself in the mirror and noticed one place was still left unscratched which was.. my face as soon as i noticed i started carefully making cuts around my face and nose i did it with caution because i didn't want to become fully blind but as i was cutting my mind suddenly went blank and everything became black....

Hyunjin

'whats taking him so long?' i thought to myself it didn't feel right so i asked minho to come with me to look for felix and he thankfully agreed since we both sensed something was off as we were wandering around the house we saw a stream of blood comming from a door so we went to check it out as we reached the door and opened it we saw something or a rather..someone we didn't want to see... we saw felix comepletely passed out in a corner covered with blood and wounds. i came to check Felix's pulse to see if he was still alive and well.. he was so i signaled minho to call 991 so we could get felix to the hospital due to his blood loss. A minute later an ambulance arrived and went inside minho quickly led them to the bathroom..

"whats his name?" a ambulance worker asked us

"lee felix.. korean name Lee yongbok" minho said trying to hold back tears and just at that moment seungmin and jeongin woke up and went to look for us to see what all the commotion was about..

"heyyy guys why are there-.... ambulance workers here....?" Seungmin asked confused

"O... oh my god i..is that Lix....?" Jeongin asked trying to hold back his tears since he noticed it was felix

"NONONONONO... THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING.. IS THAT REALLY OUR LIXIE... t- this is impossible.. why whould he do that!?..." Seungmin said finally letting loose of his emotions and started crying

"we'll have to take him to the hospital one of you guys can come with" another abulance worker told us. we all shared a look at seungmin since he was the closest with felix so he agreed to come with them.  now there were only 3 of us left.

"GUYS WTH ARE YOU WAITING FOR WERE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL TO SEE OUR LIXIE" minho basically yelled "WE'RE COMMING LIXIE HOLD ON A LITTLE LONGER" jeongin added "GUYS HOP IN TO MY CAR I CERTAINLY WONT STOP FOR RED LIGHTS" (AU/N definitely not listening to red lights on replay)

"OMG WAIT FOR US WE'RE COMMINGGGGG" minho and jeongin yelled at the same time, and so we were off to the hospital....

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information:

word count: 1239 (without au notes)

made: 4/27/2023

time consumed: 2 hours (with brainstorming ideas)

a new chapter will be out in a few days once i have more ideas for this story

ANYWAYS GUYS I HAVE A REALLY HAR QUESTION AND I NEED HELP WITH IT SINCE ITS A PRETTY BIG DEAL

OKAY LISTEN, SHOULD I AUDITION AT JYP (as a joke) WITHOUT PARENTAL CONSENT AND SEE IF I GET ACCEPTED CAUSE THE ONLY THING PEOPLE TELL ME I HAVE TALENT FOR IS SINGING TBS RAPPING. LIKE TELL ME BUT WHAT IF I GET ACCEPTED AND I ACTUALLY HAVE TO GO TO KOREA CAUSE LIKE I KNOW MY PARENTS WILL NEVER ALLOW ITTTTT. (ps save me from this crisis since i already have their audition page open)