i hate my life

8 0 2

by Userpiece

by Userpiece

ok so before this shit ass wattpad story starts im just saying im just doing this as a joke because i hate myself and i joke about this ship too much anyways initials
V = Virtuoso
W = Wirisu
N = Nex
O = Ogname

V: wiri its 2am we should go to sleep tbh

It is a late Saturday night, Virtuoso and Wirisu are at a party, involving their friends Nex and Ogname. It was Wirisu's birthday, and the 3 came to his party. His birthday party was set at his house. Even though it was late at night, Wirisu was full of energy, like if he was given an infinite supply of caffeine, unlike Nex and Ogname on the other side, which were the opposite of energized and were extremely WEARY (pun) to the point they were about to collapse and sleep on the floor. Virtuoso just felt..normal..I suppose? I mean, what else were they supposed to feel?

W: I can't sleep though, I'm just too...ENERGIZED!! I just can't!

As Wirisu glances on Virtuoso, he gets a sensation. A sensation as if it was a feeling of being close to them. As if he wanted to hug them and get more intimate rather than just talking (NOT HORNY OF COURSE FUCKING NOT WE'RE MINORS IM NOT GOING TO DO THAT RULE 34 SHIT IM FUCKING ACE)

V: wiri why do you look like that lol
W: What do you mean? (oh my god I just can't hold it in.) Wirisu was confused on what they meant.
|V: you look like if you were in the mood ykyk but like not in the weird way yk
Wirisu was not.
W: Huh? You know...nevermind..I wanted to ask you something."
V: (oh god what is it) yeah
W: I think it would be funny if we went to my room
V: (please don't tell me) sure but why..
W: I'll tell you when we get there.
V: (FUCKING SHIT PLEASE DONT ACTUALLY TELL ME HE WANTS TO FUCK) aight..

Virtuoso is terrified. They are heavily, and I MEAN IT, HEAVILY asexual. It was like their family was killed infront of them, except it was something else, same feeling tho.

V: wiri pls tell me what are we gonna do i have a very bad feeling its going to be something im NOT GOING TO LIKE
W: Don't worry, it won't, obviously.
V: I ho-
N: What are you two talking about?
V: about something mind ur own business and continue ur beef w/ ogfart
N: Ok

They enter Wirisu's room.

V: why are you doing that facial expression like if you wanna uhh
W: No don't worry. Anyways...I kinda felt like getting a little bit intimate with you..I just can't resist the feeling.
V: oh my fucki- are we going to fuck (PLEASE SAY NO PLEASE SAY NO PLEASE SAY NO)
W: Of course not. I just feel like uh...(how do I say this??..)...kissing and hugging you know?.
V: but...what if ogname and nex see us?
W: We can simply tell them to fuck off and mind their own businesses.
V: reasona-

Wirisu throws Virtuoso on the wall.

V: damn my g is already pinning me to the wall
W: I couldn't resist it.
V: (what the fuck is happening) im stu-

As Virtuoso speaks, Wirisu leans in for a good ol' kiss and completely makes them speechless.

W: Speechless?
V: .....i-if you cant te-tell..i-i dont e-even know whats g-going on..?
W: Don't worry, I'll make you even more speechless.
V: so yo-you want me to pucker my li-

He kisses them more as they both start to lean in for a hug.

V: never knew you kissed so well the fuck? well at least i know now
W: God you're just so...unique.
V: you also are though-

As Virtuoso finished their sentence, they were pushed onto the bed by Wirisu to continue hugging and kissing eachother. Virtuoso starts to feel a feeling that they don't like.

V: (what is this sensation- oh fuck. dont tell me im slightly horny DONT YOU FUCKING EVEN SAY IM NOT DOING THE REEDADIDOODLEDINGLE)
W: Best day of my life so far.
V: must agree lol also are u sure no one is spying on us like ogfart and nex
W: I am certain, either way, like I said, we can tell them to fuck off.

They both fall on the ground. A thudding noise is heard, Nex and Ogname get concerned.

N: Wait what was that noise; where did Virtuoso and Wirisu go?
O: didnt they tell you theyre going to wiris room
N: Oh yeah, but what was that noise
O: idk, should we investigate or smth
N: Yeah Bro
O: wait what if theyre sex?!/113/12
N: Oh no I hope not

Concerned that Virtuoso and Wirisu were doing the hanky-panky, Nex has prepared holy water for her eyes, wanting to make Ogname suffer by not giving him any due to the beef they have. They walk towards Wirisu's room.

V: wirisu i hear footsteps i think theyre inspecting us
W: Remember what I said.
V: bruh istg i have dementia

They gently open the door, while being greeted with the 2 making out. Virtuoso and Wirisu prepare to make them go away.

V&W: FUCK OFF
N: .....oh.
O: HAHAHAHAHAH...what the..?!

Nex just stands there, trying to comprehend what's going on. Ogname, on the other hand, laughs then slowly walks away, flabbergasted,

V: nex can you fuck off pls we're trynna have sum alone time at least ogname gave us privacy bruh (i hate this feeling so much)
W: Yeah...not the weird...type of...alone time. We promise.
N: You sure?
V: yes we are sure dude just get out of here
N: What's even going on
V: cuddling, now go away you got the info u need peanut

Nex silently closes the door, on the urge of crying after seeing what she saw.

YEAH SO BASICALLY THEY CUDDLE AND MAKE OUT FOR A FEW HOURS BEFORE SLEEPING OKAY YOU GOT THE STUPID FUCKING WATTPAD STORY YOU WANTED I CANT THINK OR WANT TO THINK OF ANYTHING ELSE TO WRITE HERE IM NOT GOING TO FUCKING WRITE RULE 34 SO DONT EVEN REQUEST IT OR ELSE I WILL DO idek what OK GOODBYE