Gangorangutangs Live in a House

FIRST ARC... THE TRAGEDY!!

Hey guys, it's me, Obama. I'm gonna be the one narrating this story. Enjoy.

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The sound of sizzling bacon could be heard at 7 in the fucking AM. Nicolas and his toddler Mateo walked into the kitchen where D'arii (his, like, gf), was sitting on the counter eating cinnamon toast crunch, and Sofia, Nicolas' younger sister, was cooking bacon and eggs, but the eggs smelled like ass.

"Hoe!! What's that smell?!?!" Nic asked.

"That's the bacon-" Sofie started.

All of a sudden, Nic and Sofie's cousin Julie walked in!! She rubbed her eyes and then started screeching when hot grease shot into her open eye. Nicolas took the opportunity to steal a piece of bacon off the hot pan, burning his middle finger in the process. He also started screaming. Then, he ran into Sofia, making her smash into the fridge and dropping a bunch of bananas on the floor. And this is why I hate neurodivergent people.

With chaos unfolding around everyone, D'arii threw her cereal on the floor and yanked Mateo out of the room, his bitchass was crying.

"Where are you going with our son?!" Nicolas asked as he sucked on his finger. He turned around to see Sofie seizing on the floor, with a banana in her throat. Then he looked at his girlfriend again, who was gritting her teeth. He felt so bad for causing alla this riffraff. He decided he was going to kill himself that night. His hemorrhoids were hurting too.

"I'm taking him to the store!! Y'all are so loud and it's too damn early."

Immediately everyone started talking at once, driving D'arii even more insane.

"Can you get me a soda?"

"Me too! And Takis."

"Can you buy me a dildo?"

"A what?"

"Girl, you gay?"

Everyone including baby Mateo jumped when D'arii shouted "EVERYBODY SHUT THE FUCK UP. DAMN."

Mateo started crying, this enraged Julie so she smacked him. Then she dug her finger into her coochie and twisted it, the smell wafting everywhere. Everyone could faintly hear  

all around them. D'arii started punching her baby daddy (Big Dic Nic) in the stomach until he cried and she dragged Mateo out of the house. She didn't come back for a few hours.

When she came back, Nicolas was playing GTA on the floor with Julie while Sofie was watching TikTok quietly. She threw a bag on the floor, which had everything everyone asked for. Including the dildo!!!

"Mateo missed you," D'arii said through gritted teeth.

"Aw I missed him more!!!" Nicolas responded as he got up to hug his son.

"Bitch!! Not you, he missed Sofie and Julie."

Nic stared into space and a single tear trickled down his face. Then, he pulled a gun out of his ass and shot himself in the brain with it. The pain was too much.

Everyone's screams echoed through their house.