string of words loosely entwined

medicine students - taegyu

Maybe pairing up with your boyfriend for a thesis paper is a bad idea.

It's convenient, yes. Comfortable, and trustworthy. He would never wish for you to have a bad grade. You just know he'd do his best for the both of your sakes. (In hindsight, Beomgyu always does.)

But yeah. When the whole department branded you two as academic rivals, and you've once again realized why, teaming up with him is quickly turning into the worst idea Taehyun ever had.

"Technological advancements aren't just the key for a better medical care, Taehyunnie." Beomgyu argues, tapping judgingly at his research topic draft. "It's important, okay I agree with that. But with the increasing number of people who can't afford these services, then who would benefit them? We have to strike the problem at its roots, not the branches. At the people themselves and not on the equipment. Psychology reaches out to more people, it's more human-friendly."

"Look, hyungie," Taehyun easily counters, waving his boyfriend's own paper, "as much as I agree that psychological well-being is a significant aspect in a person's overall health, we are in a rapidly improving environment where technological aid is turning into a necessity. It's more efficient to provide analysis and treatment for numerous patients, and in a faster rate than just doctors and nurses combined."

Beomgyu sighs, and then proceeds to say a respond; stating that psychological aid prevents further damage since a healthy mind makes a healthy body. And then Taehyun would defend; saying that technology had made dialysis more accurate and observation of patients much effective.

They went on and on and on. Debating on their views until the period ends, catching the attention of other classmates who didn't have the courage to cut in and give their opinions, just to mediate and make them stop. Doing so is suicide; with the two top students of their batch in their own world academically arguing like this, they would eat them alive.

So they could only watch. As both Beomgyu and Taehyun glare at each other from their combined desks, and leave without so much as another word spoken.

That's a little issue they have. They're both full of pride — it's accountable with their capabilities and skills, and with opposing perspectives such as these, they're always bound to clash. Academically, of course.

Taehyun is faced with his open book about the basics of psychology, sitting on their usual spot in the library waiting for his boyfriend for their regular study sessions. It's a bonding activity they do amidst the busy schedule for medical students, usually accompanied with a cup of coffee to power up their brains.

He couldn't focus though. His mind vomiting the words he's been trying to digest for the last five minutes, consciously glancing at the quiet phone right next to his book.

Beomgyu never misses a study session.

A pang of hurt shot through his chest. Is Beomgyu mad at him for the thesis topic debate?

Surely, he's not that petty, Taehyun assures himself. Maybe he was just busy. They're medical students after all. 'But Beomgyu would drop anything for you', his traitor mind reminds, or 'at least he would send a message,' the black screen of his phone mocks.

Taehyun looks at the book; the psychology concepts taunting him to relent, reminding him of his boyfriend's specialization. Of the reasons why Beomgyu is pursuing this course. Guilt swallows his insides for being so selfish, and he shuts the book close.

For the first time in a long time, Taehyun can't find it in himself to study.

He stays awake later that night on their bed. Waiting for his phone to ring or for Beomgyu to return home. A mix of relief and dread when the front door clicks and footsteps trudged in. Taehyun proceeds to sit just as Beomgyu opens the door to their bedroom and—

"Why are you still up?" Beomgyu asks when he sees him, voice quiet as if it'd break the looming tension in the air. "Your internship starts at 8 in the morning."

"I was waiting for you." Taehyun answers, just as soft, looking up into Beomgyu's tired eyes. "Why weren't you texting?"

Beomgyu looks away guiltily. "Phone's dead. There were a lot of things to do at the ward that I didn't get to plug it in. Sorry."

Now why did that sound so insincere. Didn't even explain why he skipped their session, their dinner date, why he went ahead and did an overtime shift, and why he didn't tell him prior. Why wasn't he saying anything more? Why isn't he looking at him now? Why was Taehyun suddenly at the backburner over academic prowess? Why—

"Are you going to break up with me?"

Maybe that was a little strong of a statement. As Beomgyu snaps his head back to look at him in a faster motion than when he looked away. Surprised, confused, regretful.

"No. Why would you think so?" He answers, scanning every flicker of emotion that passed on his face. Taehyun held his tongue, trying to keep his tears at bay. Beomgyu steps towards him, gingerly cupping his cheek. "I felt terrible after fighting with you earlier. It's just thesis. And yet there I was, ready to ditch you just because you didn't agree with what I wanted.

"What kind of boyfriend am I to put something as trivial as that in the way of our relationship?" He scolds himself, running his fingers through his hair in agitation. "I had to revalue myself. Refocus on whichever is more important to me. And it's still you. It'll only be you, Taehyun. I'm so sorry."

Taehyun nods his head, placing his hand above Beomgyu's as a single tear trickle down his face. Between the two of them, it's always the other who has a better grasp at his emotions, that's why he's the psychologist.

"I'm sorry too."

It's in this silent, careful way of apologizing that things fix themselves. Academic achievements are their goals, their targets; but they'll never let it ruin the direction of their relationship. They'll fight, they'll clash and disagree, but at the end of the day, they would always come home to each other.

Because in each other, they found those dreams worthy to be their reality.

(They'll look back at this at the day of their graduation. With the highest latin honors under their name, best thesis recognition for their cross-study between medical science and psychology, and matching suits and medals and medical degree. Joking with their peers about how they almost broke up over a research topic.)