A Heartbreak Away

Chaoter 4- The User

Ann loved him so much that she gave him the one thing she knew she would never get back. She had always been the type of person to do whatever she knew would make her lover happy, even if it sacrificed her own happiness. Ann let herself to him. She laid there as he did inexplicable things to her. Ann was regretting it even as it was going on.
As long as he was happy, she did not care. Afterwards, he only began to talk about it. He would bring it up in every conversation to her and it would make Ann feel uncomfortable knowing she did that. Ann then decided "enough is enough I need to tell him how it makes me feel."
That was what she did. "Hey... I don't think I am all about the whole romantic thing. I just don't feel comfortable or ready with it. I'm sorry." At first he seemed like it didn't bother him. He was cool with it, he said. Ann wished she could have believed him and at first she did. Until not even a week later he kept trying to break up with her.
"I think it's best if we break up." Ann didn't wanna lose him, so she begged him to stay as they were crying in the phone. Ann kept trying so she resorted to the last option. Bringing up the memories of that night. That's when he decided to stay. That's when he was able to laugh through his own tears. Ann felt like total shit still.
That's when he began begging to see her again. He was so consistent and it annoyed Ann so much. Ann didn't wanna see him again knowing what he wanted. He guilted her into it anyways. Ann felt so hopeless. That night, however, they played their song and danced around. They laughed. It felt like a real life movie. They cuddled up watching the lights in the mountains.
Ann felt for sure that night meant as much to him as it did her. Ann felt so sure of everything. Ann loved him more than life itself. Two days later he broke up with her. She was tired of begging him to stay. She let him leave. Ann left class with her friend crying. She took off his necklace and threw it. When she ran into the bathroom the realization hit that he used her.
She collapsed to the floor unable to breathe. She punched a way until her hands bled. When Ann got home she locked herself into her bathroom. Ann took scissors to her thighs. All she could smell was the iron as the blood dripped down.
Once Ann had realized how badly he hurt her and what she had done the scissors fell from her hands. She began bawling her eyes out unable to breathe as her hands shook and the pain in her thighs swelled. Ann felt so used and worthless. "Am I only good for my body?" "Why can't someone look at me and talk to me and like my personality, not just my body..." Ann felt so betrayed. She no longer could look herself in the mirror.
She would get ready for a shower and look at her body and start crying. She felt so insecure and afraid. She could never love someone that way again and then give them all of her just for them to leave her. She felt so ashamed of herself. She swore to herself after marriage. She tried so so hard.
But she always put his happiness first. She was so tired so done. She felt so embarrassed. She gave herself the ick. She wanted to die. Sure the cuts on her thighs would heal, but the scar would always be left there to tell the story.