the sloth who owned Alan Ashby

It's seven in the evening here in sunny Los Angeles and I'm on my way to pick up my new pet, Alan Ashby. I ordered him on Ebay and he finally got shipped to Pet Smart so I can get him. I already bought him a bed, some clothes, and pre-ordered his favorite foods. You see, I am a sloth named Lemur. I love to wear cowboy hats, boots, and plaid button up shirts. I am bored with my life and needed something exciting to make me feel like a teenage sloth again, so I bought an Alan. I was hoping he would look exactly like he looked in the ad but I wouldn't mind if there was a slight difference in appearance. As I pulled in the Pet Smart, I could vaguely see his red hair in the window. I ran inside and looked to my right and saw my very own pet. He looked exactly like he did in the ad (which was a pleasant surprise considering that my aunt ordered an Austin Carlile and it didn't remotely match the advertise product.) Everything was perfect until an employee walked up to me and tapped my shoulder politely. He said, "I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but your new pet cannot speak. He can only make slight noises." When I heard this, I was caught off gaurd. I mean, I will still love my Alan but it'll be harder to communicate with it. "That's fine, I'll still purchase him." I whispered, still in shock that I finally got my Ashby. I was already thinking of all the adventures we would have. This would be fun. I'm not just a sloth anymore. I am a sloth who owns a Alan Ashby and I am proud.

THE NEXT DAY

Last night was such a burden. Alan refused to eat any of the food I bought him and rather sleep with me in my bed than his own. Which is okay, I guess. I wanted some company so I didn't mind him laying down with me. Him not eating his food wasn't okay though. I had special oredered his food for him and it was pretty expensive. I am going to have to force him to eat it today. I knew this is going to be impossible considering that I'm a sloth and he's a full grown human. But I attempted it anyways. "Come here, Alan. Aren't you hungry?" I asked hoping he would come and eat on his own will. "asdfghjh;l;" Oh Alan, I wish you could talk. "Well, if you don't eat it now, I am going to have to force-feed it to you." I said sternly. Thankfully, Alan crawled over and ate out his food bowl like a good pet and took a nap. I never realized that mantaining a Alan Ashby would be this difficult. I will not give him up for adoption or give him to the shelter. I loved this Alan and I'm going to take care of it until my last, dying breath.