Hate Me Until You Can't [PSLU #4] [GL]

HM29

Sylvia's POV

PSYCHOLOGY, the hardest part of wanting something in the Philippines that is seemingly odd for other people ay para sakanila ay isang walang kwenta lang. Ever since I had fallen into a deep depression after my adoptive parents died, I got slumped and lost. I only had Sage that time, tanging siya lang ang nakakaintindi sakin.

Some may think na baliw o isang pakulo lamang ang pagkakaroon ng isang mental illiness, pero para sakin hindi biro na ma-diagnose nito. It might even be worst than a physical injury, because in reality ang utak ang pinaka mahirap kalaban at ang sarili mo.

"Captain, tingin mo ba habang may competition may bilang umiihi sa pool sa gitna ng laban nila?" One of my teammates randomly asked.

Nandidiri naman akong napatingin sakanya. "Ang layo ng imagination mo ah?"

"Malay mo lang naman sa sobrang kaba," Natatawa niya pang sabi. "Ako kasi kinakabahan ngayon, first time ko lang masama sa main line up ng relay, pano kung bigla akong mapulikat sa gitna diba?"

"That's one of the worst cases for swimming athletes like us," I ruffled her hair. "Kaya tumigil ka kaka-overthink. Damay mo pa ako eh."

"Ikaw kasi meron kang bebe, sana all diba." Ngumuso siya sa direksyon nila Elise, I saw her sitting in the same lane with Portia, Zianna and Karma. She was even holding a little banner with my name on it.

My kind of cheerleader.

"Ganda ng ngiti, sarap lunurin sa pool para mabura." Pang aasar pa niya at siniko ako.

I can't help but to blush and smile at the same time. "Can't help, ganda ng plus one ko eh."

"Pero mabuti di kayo affected sa pinost doon sa confession sa twitter?" Hindi sigurado niyang sabi. Kumunot naman ang noo ko.

"Confession? What do you mean?"

Magsasalita pa sana siya nang tawagin na kami ni coach. I was about to open my phone and scan it kung anong sinasabi niya pero I knew it was a bad thing to do before the competition dahil baka mawala ako sa focus. 'Cause right now, I feel nervous about it.

"Just do your best and swim at your pace, remember who you are when you're in the water, then paddle as much as you can. Got it everyone?"

"Yes coach!" We answered in unison.

"Let's go, the trophies and the gold medal are waiting for us." Our coach said as we made our way towards the area.

This is not my first or last match pero hindi ko alam kung bakit ako kinakabahan ng husto.

Ipinasawalang bahala ko muna ang nararamdaman ko saka tahimik na umupo, my legs wouldn't stop shaking and my I can't but to give little bites on my nails.

"Don't get distracted today, Sylvia." My co vice captain uttered. "I know that it is too painful for both of you pero wag ngayon."

"What?" Naguguluhan akong tumitig sakanya.

"That confession... Wag ka magalala hindi ako katulad iba. Hindi ako naniniwala sa nakalagay dun." Sabi niya at tinapik ako sa balikat. "There's no way she's like that."

Napatingin naman ako sa direksyon agad nila nang sabihin niya ang huli. They were all busy talking to each other with their forehead knitted, but my cousin's facial expression caught my attention the most.

Tumingin ito sakin, and it seems like she wants to cry. Portia rarely potrayers her emotions that she's too good in keeping it in herself. Pero ngayon, kitang kita ko kung pano lumambot at lumungkot ang mga mata niya.