God's confessions ♡HYUNLIX♡

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"Believe me this is for our own good"

"what is for our own good felix?,breaking up?!"

"..."

"how the hell is breaking up our best choice, huh?...do you hear what you're saying?!...it means that we won't be seeing each other, we won't meet ever again, a path would never bring us together anymore!"

how...how is he expecting me to accept this...

"my choice is nothing but accumulation to things YOU are responsible of...I've always warned you hyunjin...I've warned you, I begged for you to stay but you never did...I forgave and I forgave...but u never understood that my forgiveness was all for us to stay together and you never cared!...you purposely been cruel, harsh and careless about my feelings...I'm a strong enduring man but once I've passed my limits...I'm gone and I never comeback..."

"....."

" Sigh.....silly and foolish you are as usual...u always come late and blame me for not waiting...I'm sick and tired of you reproaching me all the time!...from this moment our relationship is done...it's better if you forget us...forget me...and I actually don't think forgetting is that hard for you...who knows, maybe after a few months another girl whom you used to hook up with whilst u were sleeping between my arms would invade your heart, or even you might get the job opportunity you've always dreamed of, and I do not rule out the fact that after a few years you may be a famous figure, and ur pieces of art will swim around all over the world, just then I think your memory won't even remember my name...and if all that didn't happen...then try, for once in your life be the first to try and then maybe you'll understand...and I truly hope that forgetting won't disappoint you just like how u did to me...goodbye."

It was a cold night but not as cold as Felix's words, Felix's gone...after how he threw all those words that cut deep into hyunjin's heart and stabbed it a million times, he left without even saying goodbye to his dog kkami!

Hyunjin ran towards his balcony, it was the first time felix didn't look up from down there to wave at hyunjin and kkami, he stayed there with kkami waiting for him to look behind but he didn't, they stared till he disappeared through thin air, kkami kept on barking, asking for him to look back and give him a one last wave but that never happened.

He completely disappeared so hyunjin went inside his dorm, sat on his bed, kkami followed him and and hopped ontop of his bed, licking his owners face, but this time traces of Felix's lips weren't seen, so he hurried to his own bed and got the toy that felix got for him and started sniffing on it.

Hyunjin looked in such a horrifying state, he was ready for this, but even If you were all ready for the idea of someone leaving but you won't get away from the horrible feeling of getting separated from your beloved ones.

Kkami kept on playing but it wasn't the normal playing like usual, he was licking and sniffing onto the toy, no one would ever be able to describe how a pet is feeling, but with pain and sadness there are signs, maybe kkami understood that felix won't ever come back but that's what hyunjin did not get, or maybe he didn't believe it either.

He got up from his bed,took his fanny pack, wore his coat and started walking in the snow..

It was not so late but in this case where it's freezing cold you won't see anyone outside other than crazy people, and oh how much did hyunjin love to have walks is this weather with felix, and they would always run around and dance barefoot while it was snowing, this time he lost the ability to walk balanced, he was thinking about what happened and what did felix say, he put on his earphones and started some classical music, but unintentionally it was making him cry.

While you're about to breakdown music starts to be a cruel symphony that ravages your heart, voices around you turns into knives that stab your soul with no sympathy, you get livid and irritated that you can't stand your own breathing sound, once you're about to collapse uou feel like as if the life decided to make you cry like a baby.

That's how hyunjin felt so he hurried and stopped the music, and continued towards the deep lake and sat by the edge of it whilst looking at the snowflakes from afar,

even tho this bridge is called "death bridge" because it witnessed alot of suicidal commitments, between drowning, cutting and even by pulling the trigger...but the hardest types of suicide is when fate does it without killing you, or it only ends up with u dying.

Hyunjn believed that losing someone is committing suicide, waiting is also suicide, staying silent is committing suicide and sadness is another type of committing suicide, maybe that's why hyunjin refused to call the bridge with that name so he calls it "the bridge of infinity".

Time flew by and it started to get more cold than before but he didn't care at all... he already called his friend "seungmin" he needed someone to talk to...he can't take it anymore...

He tried to remain calm till his friend comes, so he got out a paper and a pen out of his fanny pack..and started writing :

"It seems like we're done felix..this what you've told me a few hours ago and this is why I'm writing to you, but let me tell you that till this moment I do not believe that we're not lovers anymore, yes I am that depressed, melancholic person with you, and that artist ifront of every other person, I swear that I've never cheated on you in my life, yes I knew whores, yes I loved being touched by them sometimes...maybe I flirted with one of them when I was with you..but I never once cheated on you the way you think I did, even if cheating for you means looking or thinking of someone other than you and that too I didn't do it, I can't and won't tell you that those are not traces of other women's on my body, but I got tired of your ways, of how you're always busy, away from my grasp, got tired of asking for your presence and I never found you beside me, maybe I'm a cheater but I swear when we decided to separate for a while to think about us I tried to betray my love for you In other women's embraces so I realized that I betrayed all women with you, felix...I did not betray you..."

Suddenly a screech was heard from down the bridge, when he came here no one was around...

The screaming started getting higher and higher as if that someone was fighting for his life, it was pitch black and it was nowhere beside possible that he could see the lake perfectly, he got up quickly and the signs of discomfort was shown on his face, cause he couldn't see if there was someone taking a decision of ending their life.

muttered to himself:

"How foolish those people that think a death decision is easier than a life one."

He stood there at the edge of the bridge knowing that his tries are spent for nothing, cause even if he really did find that person, he won't be able to save him cause he can't even float in water himself...

The wind got more tensed and powerful, he tried to keep his balance but at last...he fell down the bridge.