But Not For Me ✷ Jotaro X Reader ✷

YOUTH. 1

You exit onto your balcony, quiet so your parents don't hear. Fishing the cigarette out of your breast pocket, you peer around to see if the light from their room is on. It's only you and the light pollution leaking over the horizon. The chipped nail polish your mom painted on becomes visible from the flame as you light your cigarette. You hate smoking, but when you grew up in a family of smokers, your habit became a question of choice or genetics. Although living near downtown has many perks, the few downsides are minimal privacy. Whether you live in a condo or a single house, there's always the chance someone is looking through your window like you're their afternoon entertainment. And you're one of those people, not the one being watched, though.

Almost on schedule, every Friday night at 10:45, Jotaro Kujo walks past the park in front of your condo and enters the basement of a building a few blocks down. You recognize him from your school since he is only two years older than you. His entourage of women, which is very hard to ignore, allows him to pick any girl he wants. You wonder, would he prefer a simple, innocent girl? Maybe he wants the one flooding her basement over him down for anything. No one really knows much about him since he rarely speaks, but you like to imagine you know a bit more. Only you know this routine of his. It's become such a predictable event that you've timed going out for a smoke to watch him. As he disappears from sight, you press the remaining cigarette to the concrete and drop it in your ashtray.

The crisp air of spring flows along your face, taking your gaze with it. You make eye contact with the man on the moon and wish him a good night from one observer to another-the sweet smell from your denim jacket and the soft cotton of your pyjamas mix. You have just become the most tired girl in the world.

Curled in bed, cuddling your pillow, you wonder what Jotaro does every week; more so, you wonder how he is able to be so punctual. Your mind begins racing, raking up any details and memories you have of him. What do you even know about this person, and why are you invested in getting to know him? Maybe they weren't wrong when they said women like muscles... must be a primal instinct. Regardless, you're thinking of him and realize you're getting a crush. However, you will enjoy it this time since you two are worlds apart. Sometimes knowing you don't have a chance is more comforting than depressing. The spiral ends, and you fall asleep.

Another day has begun. Your newfound crush will have to wait for its fuel since it's the weekend. Days of relaxing, studying and chatting with friends fill your weekend. Of course, they mention Jotaro and his latest borderline-abusive interaction with them. She gushes,

"I asked him if he wanted to have my homework for history, and he told me to fuck off!"

She describes her event with such joy in her voice but tries to imitate his low, powerful voice when she says 'fuck off.' You respect his adversity to cheating, although that wasn't likely his intention. You almost feel bad for him, though. It must be pretty annoying when he's constantly surrounded by women he's uninterested in. Because of the overwhelming attention, the other boys of this school become envious of him and typically aggressive. A fun story is spun in your head of the hard life Jotaro must have endured to gain such a cold demeanour.

It's the beginning of another school week. Still sluggish from waking up, your uniform finds its way from all over your room to your body. Getting ready in the morning is your moment of peace in the middle of the hurricane called exam season. Taking the time to do your skincare, some light makeup, and styling your hair allows you to feel your best when facing the day ahead. You hear your mom's breakfast summoning call from downstairs, and the whole house gathers at the dining table. Small routines like this keep you sane, like the same interactions in the morning, talking to your parents about your plans for the day and things you have trouble with. Your parents give you some encouraging words as you head to school. The day goes on as usual; boring classes, chatty friends, and no Jotaro to be seen.

The subway back home rolls into the station, and as you quickly glance to your right before stepping in, you see him. Of course, you think. The thought weighs on your mind that he is only a few cars down. Quick glances over that direction remind you how much taller he is than the average person. This means you can see which station he gets off of, and a plan based purely on curiosity takes over your mind. If you see him so frequently, that must mean he lives nearby, right? The walk home shouldn't be long, and you could tell your parents you had coffee with friends after class. Once you're done justifying your stalking, he leaves the subway; you follow him at a safe distance.

After a few turns around corners and passing by less and less familiar streets, you begin to wonder if following him is really worth the marathon. The crowd thins out, and you become more aware of your presence. If he turned back at any point, you could easily be spotted by him. In an attempt to blend in, you put on a sweater to hide the school uniform and put on some sunglasses. 'That should do the trick,' you think, now looking more suspicious than before. Who else but a stalker wears a sweater in the middle of the summer heat?

While the two of you walk unknowingly together, you take some mental notes of the area and realize you are too far away from home to pass off this journey as an after-school coffee break. Should you turn back now? What if his place is just down the road a bit more? Slowly, things begin to look more and more familiar. This vending machine, that fruit shop, the hair salon... you realize he has been dragging you along for a walk. If you knew this area only slightly better, you would run back, so you freeze. To ease the suspicion, you retie your shoelaces while wondering why you thought this would be a good idea. The sun is beginning to set, and your best assumption is it's down before an hour is up. With no choice, you stand up and start walking the other way, hoping enough street signs point to a station.

A young woman walking alone in an area she doesn't know. Of course... Not only have you wasted your time with his games, but you have also found yourself in a dangerous situation. In your frustration, you think to yourself, 'He had to have been going in a loop on purpose, right? He had to have known I was following him then. But why didn't he turn around and confront me? God, seeing him at school is going to be weird... at least for me if he actually was unaware of my following.' Your pace quickens, racing the sun to the finish line.

Exhausted but relieved, you enter the subway station and await your ride home. Your hair flickers gently before the train flies by, catching your attention out of your cloud of thoughts and forcing your gaze up. The shiny windows of the train whizzing by, almost like stop-motion, show the figure of Jotaro standing behind the gates. As fast as you see him, your head whips around to meet his eyes among the mob of corporate workers. Your heart drops to the core of the earth, pupils widening in fear. For mere seconds, the murmur disappears, and a tunnel vision of his face is all you can see. Your eyes lock. People bump and shove as they slither around you, standing there like a statue.

The loud ringing of the closing door warning brings you back to your senses. You sprint into the doors with a hair's width left to spare. You turn to look through the door's windows only to see that he has disappeared. You were not even able to catch a glimpse of his back while he walked away.

So he knew. Your trip home was filled with anxiety, but most of the concern was whether he was angry at you. To calm yourself, you drown out the spiralling emotions with your favourite music and push today's problems to tomorrow.

Back at home, your family impatiently waits for you to come back home. They're understandably worried; you're back home hours after you usually are. With an Oscar-worthy performance, you recount the story of how you 'went to grab some coffee with friends and studied together at the cafe and lost track of time.' They struggle to accept it, but a quick reminder of exams puts them at ease. Lying is wrong, of course, but there are some things they won't know that won't be so bad if it stays that way. You say good night to them and head to your room. The normalcy of your home routine made you forget about Jotaro until you went out for your smoke. Another cigarette butt in your ashtray, another problem that, like a wave, keeps you on your toes.