"So...you died." Ogher said as I laid on the ground.
"Yep."
"Are you going to do anything about it?"
"Of course I am! Once I get revived, I'm going to kick that sniper's ass!" I yelled.
"That's not a good course of action. Even I know that. Your actions, they are driven by revenge. You yourself thought that anger is bad for you, and that it clouds your mind and judgement. Think, Matteus. Think." Ogher said as he helped me up.
"But HOW do I think? I don't know what to do."
"I am unsure. I am not my sister, after all. She would know what to do."
"Sister, huh? What is she, the Goddess Of War?" I asked.
"Don't say 'God' or 'Goddess' around Asreil, nephew. I worry that you will slip up and fail one day." Ogher said. "But I can arrange a meeting between the two of you. In the meantime, regarding your eye, you need a replacement."
Wow, I'm getting all the gifts from the gods, huh? Resurrection from Death himself, the ability to see who isn't sober and kinda read their minds from my dad, and now a new eye from a wise god? What is this, my divine birthday?
"Here." Ogher said, holding out an eyepatch made from leather. On the front was a symbol, like a pine tree with no leaves, embossed with gold. "It will not replace the eye, but it will serve to lessen the burden."
"Wow, thanks." I said, putting the eyepatch over my bad eye. Yeah, it did make it hurt a little less. Can't see half the room, but at least my depth perception was...sorta back.
"Now...I must away. My sister will be here soon, and she does not like either of my sides. Be kind to Hosana, nephew. She will try to help, but do not misinterpret what she offers. Goodbye."
With that, Ogher burst into flames, being replaced by a woman wearing camouflage combat armour, complete with fur accents, a hazmat helmet, and chainmail. On her back were all kinds of weapons, like katanas, sniper rifles, and boomerangs, though the only really viable one was a...freaking...No, it was like something developed by 'Nerf'. I'm 90% sure it was. It was a shotgun, with a bolt-action rifle reloading method and a clip to the side. On the bottom, around six inches past the trigger, was a CHAINSAW BLADE built on the bottom, which trailed up until it hit a foot-long bayonet mounted on the bottom of the shotgun barrel. The weapon was an abomination.
I loved it.
"So, this is what my brother's children look like? Sammi-Werewolves with a dumbfounded expression?" Hosana asked, looking at me disapprovingly. I realised her head was actually a half-shattered skull wrapped in a scar and filled with fire, which glowed in her eye sockets and ear holes.
"Uh...Yeah, I guess so. Is this what my dad's siblings look like? RPG cosplayers who went overboard on their costumes?" I retorted. Heck yeah.
"Heh. I like you. I'm your aunt, Hosana, Deity of War. You have already met some of the family. Ogher, the coward and ruiner of fun. Your father, the inciter of War and Peace. Anubis, Judge of The Forsaken...who is totally impartial. The Ferryman, who has no purpose but busy work. And, of course, Argu. Is he still leaving you alone?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"ARGU!" Hosana yelled, causing the whole area to shake.
"By my ancient bones! I'm here, I'm here!" Life Reaper Argu said, appearing from nowhere. "What?"
"Kiddo wants to talk to you. About coming back." Hosana explained, her internal fires turning black.
"Reviving, huh? I dunno...I should start charging him for this, right? I mean, I did so...No, that was with-"
"You're going to let him revive, because otherwise I'll break all 1,095,446 bones in your body." Hosana said, a ball-peen hammer suddenly in her hand. It didn't look like much, but the way that Life Reaper Argu was trembling made me think it was Mjölnir in disguise, all 'Percy Jackson' style.
"Ok, ok!" He said, snapping his fingers. "Here, have the power of return! Just don't hurt me!"
"Good brother. And while you're at it, call up Hunir and Helgir. I've got a feeling the kid can use some guidance." Hosana said, her internal fires turning pink now.
"Stop spying on-"
Hosana towered over Life Reaper Argu.
"...Nevermind. Have a safe trip and all..." Life Reaper Argu said. "I'm going to tell Dad, you know!"
And with that, I woke up. Dead on the floor. Is this how 'Deadpool' feels when he revives?
YOU ARE READING
Living on Borealis-9: The Story Of A Reincarnated Human
AventuraMatt is a normal person, living out life as usual. Nothing exciting would have happened to him, usually, until something shook him up and turned everything upside-down. Until he dies in an unfortunate accident, gets picked up by death, and learns of...
