Dally's Angel

1

I hated the dark...but if I knew he would be there I would even show up even if it was midnight. 

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Dally Winston was bad. Ruthless. Violent. But he also reminded me of the sunset. Temporary, yet beautiful. He could be sweet and funny one moment, and terrible the next. I know him enough to understand that he never stayed. He'd be at our place one day, his arm casually wrapped around my shoulders, and shut up in the cooler the next. 

"Whatcha thinking about, doll?" his familiar voice made me raise my head from my thoughts. A cancer stick was hanging from his mouth, and he sat down besides me, putting his hand on my thigh, a bit below my shorts. 

"nothing much." I replied, and he raised his eyebrows. 

"Doesn't look like nothing." he had a weird effect on me, he always was able to tell me apart when I was lying and make me tell him the truth. I blushed. 

"Have you went and seen Sylvia?" Sylvia's his girlfriend, the girl who could be seen around town with him once in a while. She and I are worlds apart: she wears too much eyeliner and swears like a sailor, while I hardly put any make up on except for lipgloss and would get killed by Darry if a single unclean word came out of my mouth. 

"Aw, c'mon, why you always talk about her?" he groaned, sitting down on the couch, a bit too close. I scooted away, which earned me a partially shocked look from him. 

"She's your girlfriend, Dal, you should go see her, she missed you." I just wanted him gone for a bit. I hated the effect he had on me. The ability he had to hold my heart for so many years and to disappear any time he wants without any explanation. 

"Pfffft, she's fine without me." he reached for his pack of cancer sticks. He lit one and put it between his lips, a faraway look in his eyes. It was a nice change to the rigid, unmoving look that I was used to seeing. 

"Dally..?"  i asked cautiously. I knew that now was the best moment to ask him. It was a rare moment where he wasn't thinking of violence and death. 

"Hmm..?" 

"Did you...think of me while you were in there?" My voice dropped a bit. He puffed out some smoke. The unfeeling, indifferent gaze came back into his eyes. 

"Sure I did, doll." he was being sarcastic, and I knew it. I just smiled weakly, and nodded. 

"Okay." He took another drag, and I walked away slowly, knowing that my enchanted dreams were nothing but a fairytale. When I heard the door click shut, I took another deep breathThere wasn't any happily ever afters in real life. Especially not with boys like Dally.

I knew very little about his past. He never talked about his family, or much about his life in New York other than getting in jail for the first time at age 10. Every time I asked him about it, he would close up and ignore me for days afterwards. I learned quickly that it wasn't my place to ask. Dally wanted violence in his life, nothing else. 

"Hey, " I heard Pony come up besides me. He had just come home from the library..out of all places. 

"Hi there, kid brother." I teased, ruffling his hair. He was taller than me now, and real proud of it. I poured him a glass of chocolate milk, and made him a plate of cookies that had just come out of the oven. I always worried over him not being fed, because Soda and Darry ate like horses. 

"How was school?" I asked, sitting across from him and nibbling at a cookie. He crammed a whole cookie in his mouth, and it was filled with chocolate as he tried to speak. 

"Not bad, we had an English paper." he answered as he chugged on some milk. I nodded along and chatted a bit with him. I had nothing to tell him about my day. I had ran straight home after school, knowing that Dally would stop by. I baked all those cookies for him too, if only he'd stay long enough, he never did anymore. 

"Are you in love with him?" Pony demanded suddenly. I almost spit out my water. 

"Who??" 

"You know who...Dally." he looked at me earnestly. I wasn't used to telling him about my love life, so I hesitated. 

"You know, I think he wanted to love you too. He used to like you real good. Take you to school, make all those stupid promises that he never kept to stay out of the cooler, call you his doll." Those memories were painful. There was a time, which felt like an eternity ago, when Dally cared. Maybe only as a friend, but still. The only thing he still did now was call me doll. 

"Mhmm." I stared at the table, trying not to think. If I thought, I would break down into tears. A girl's heart can only stand so much. 

"When did he stop?" he sounded so curious, and deciding against the best, I told him. 

"Sometime before last summer. He used to come around to school real often, wait for me outside the fence and take me to the diner. But one day, before summer break last year, he stopped. He started going out with Sylvia." I explained. I remembered standing alone for hours, trying to convince myself that he just forgot. But I knew it wasn't so simple. He had been becoming more and more distant throughout time. I should've known that this was coming. 

"Soda says you have it all to be a soc girl. Is it because of him you stayed?" One year, I was offered a scholarship to an all girl's school a bit outside of town. They were going to cover all my expanses. but I refused. I stayed for Dally, because I didn't want to see the look on his face when he found out that I was leaving. He never had to. 

Little did he know, I couldn't even count the nights I spent alone, crying over him and his coldness. No matter how many layers of blankets I wrapped around myself, I never truly got used to the new Dally who didn't even care the slightest about me.