TRADING INNOCENCE ✔️

Chapter Twenty Seven

Here she is, after five long years. Nandito na siyang muli sa harap ko. Her face became more matured and beautiful. She still has that fierce yet innocent look on her face that made me give in to her. Riley is here. My heart is in front of me yet I don't have the strength to touch her.

"Mico..." Muling bulong niya.

I cleared my throat and smiled at her, "Your son is fine." Saad ko at sumulyap sa bata. Destiny is really fucking me good, huh?

Hindi ko alam kung saan ako kumuha ng lakas para ngitian siya gayong biglang nanabik ang katawan ko na yakapin siya. I want to just hug her tight and kiss her lips like what we used to do before. Pero tila may pumipigil sa'kin na gawin 'yon. Parang may pader na nakaharang sa gitna namin na nagiging dahilan kung bakit hindi ko siya mahawakan.

"You can come back after a week for the removal of his stitches. The cashier is in the lobby." I said and turned my back on her.

"Mico, magusap tayo." Aniya. Umigting ang panga ko para pigilan ang sarili ko na pumayag sa gusto niya. I could hear my own subconscious telling me to talk to her.

"I'm sorry but I have a lot of patients today." Sagot ko tsaka lumakad palayo sa kanya. I stood in the nurse's station and closed my eyes. I clutched my chest when it suddenly felt heavy and painful.

"Okay ka lang po doc?" Tanong ng nurse sakin kaya ngumiti ako at tumango.

"Mico." Napa-lingon ako sa gilid ko nang sundan ako ni Riley. She was staring at me like she was about to cry.

"Yes, ma'am? Do you still need something?" I asked professionally. Hindi naman to sumagot kaya napa-iwas ako ng tingin. Imbes na antayin ang sagot niya ay lumakad ako para lagpasan siya.

"Mico, magusap tayo."

"Wala tayong dapat pagusapan." Matigas kong sagot nang hindi siya nililingon.

"Pakinggan mo ang paliwanag ko Mico. I'm sorry for leaving without telling you anything. I'm sorry! Please, pakinggan mo ko!"

I faced her and pulled her to the side, "Don't make a scene in this place, Riley. You don't have to explain anything to me because you didn't give me that when I needed it the most. Just leave tutal doon ka naman magaling 'di ba?"

"Mico..." She whispered and a tear fell from her eyes. Tila kumalma naman ako nang makitang lumuha siya. Napahinga ako ng malalim at binitawan ang braso niya tsaka lumabas ng emergency room.

"Fuck!" I shouted when I went to the parking lot. I want to punch something right now but I choose to sit in the pavements. Napahilamos ako sa mukha ko gamit ang kamay at napasabunot sa sariling buhok ko. I can feel my hands shaking and my palms sweating.

I know I want to talk to Riley so bad. Ilang taon kong inantay yung pagkakataon na to. Ilang taon kong inantay na bumalik siya at yakapin siya. Pero bakit ngayong nandito na siya tila umurong ang lakas ng loob ko? There's something that stops me to be with her again. Maybe my pride? Or the fact that she's already with someone else?

Seeing her with her son makes me feel more like a shit. Yun kasi yung pangarap namin noon 'di ba? We were dreaming of a happy family; a family that will never be fulfilled anymore. Maybe I should just let this feelings go. Mukha naman na siyang masaya. Ako na lang yung hindi bumibitaw at umaasa.

I decided to talk to Riley for a closure. Hindi ko lang alam kung kailan ko siya makakausap pero nakapag-desisyon na ko na tapusin lahat ng dapat tapusin. We haven't had the chance to break up five years ago and this is the right time for that.