The New Normal: A New Adult Romance

Chapter 1

CHAPTER ONE

Tuesday

-Abigail-

Just like Nick always used to say, a new day dawns. Though I very much wish it wouldn't, I have to work with what I'm given. The smell of wet grass and hay startled me out of yet another Married-to-Benedict-Cumberbatch dream this morning. I rolled over on my side and peeked out from under the covers, observing the splotchy rain pounding my window. Without my glasses on it was a mix of blurred colors and percussive splatters. I flopped onto my back and stared at solar system mobile twirling ever so gently from the ceiling above me. I smiled wryly knowing Pluto was up there, now no longer a planet like it was when I was just a kid. I don't know how long I lay there. My mind felt soft and weak and unable to hold onto thoughts, like a defective sponge that couldn't absorb anything, too soggy with thoughts that seep in and out on contact.

A few minutes later, Dad's tentative knock on the bedroom door.

"Abigail? Are you up yet? I gotta go to town. You want anything?"he asked, not looking at me, something he was very good at these days.

"No,"I mumbled. I had made a game out of opening and closing my hand, watching the blue veins relax and then go taught against my pale skin.

He opened the door a little more. The harsh light of the hallway sliced through the darkness in the room.

"Do you...uh...have any, you know, medication that needs to be refilled?"he said, struggling with the words, embarrassed to talk about pills. You know, even with the daughter who swallows twelve of them a day.

I didn't reply, just bit my lip, felt the firm swell of it against my teeth. The lingering flavor of Burt's Bees menthol lip balm from last night was waxy and stale on my tongue, but overall my mouth was dry and pasty. A side effect of the Lithium no doubt.

"Sweetie?"he pried. I knew he was just trying to be considerate like Dr. Mona encouraged him to be in our family sessions once a week. But I couldn't let him in. There was just too much history between us. He could try to recover my trust, but he'd never recover all those years he was gone from our lives.

"No, Dad,"I answered through clenched teeth.

"Okay. I'll be back in a few hours. Oh and can you return those DVDs to the library? They're due today, you know."

I rolled over quickly and stared at my father, his face a farmer's-tanned blur through my near-sightedness. He drummed his fingers against the door in the old familiar rhythm of "Don't Argue with Me."

"Why can't you do it?"I demanded, my voice gritty, harsh, and strained. Sometimes it felt like days went by without my saying more than 10 words to anyone but the cat. My face flushed and my breathing became shallow.

"I'm not going that way. Besides, a walk will do you some good. Get your Vitamin D. They say that helps lift people's spirits, and, I mean, it can only help, right?"

I scoffed. Where was this pop Psych 101 coming from? I felt a shift in my mood suddenly. It was zero-to-sixty on the "Bitchy Borderline"scale. Fury flooded my body, and I felt hot tears come to my eyes and pool in the corners. My fingers felt electric and numb all at once. And I couldn't control any of it.