Imagine And Small Stories

Imagine 1: Chhath (terrace) {to be edited}

TW: anxiety attacks and SH

*Lead: Pankhu *2nd Lead: Vishal

Imagine ....

I am tired of life now; I need a coffee. I sat back in my chair, and I just stared at my books, my eyes started to water with the overwhelming amount of syllabus and the thought of entrance exams, that one exam can decide my next four years of college and my job eventually, if I fucked it up, it would potentially mess up my entire life. I know, a single piece of paper cannot decide my future but what should I do at this moment? In this one moment when I know this one paper matters so much to my parents, they have invested their savings in my studies how can I not give them the result that they want, the smile that they deserve? They have worked so hard on me; how can I disappoint them? 

I ran my fingers through my hair as tears made their way down my cheeks. I let out a shaky breath, I was so scared, I covered my mouth to kill the sounds of my snobs. I kept crying, my temples started to hurt eventually it was hard to breathe, hard to move and hard to think about anything, I just couldn't breathe anymore. I had no idea of what was happening, everything felt fake and blur. Eventually, I calmed down, but I was so tired, it was like I was floating but everything was so painful. I lay down for a few minutes but as soon I realized I need to study, I immediately sat up and massaged my temples.

I need a coffee. 

I made my special coffee, yum. And what could be better than a nice 5-minute session on Chhath (terrace)? I took my shawl and covered myself with it, I love winters, but I can't freeze to death, right?  As soon as I opened the door, I was greeted with cold air, and I walked near the edge I stood there, closed my eyes, and felt that cold relaxing air, softly blowing wind, and warmth of the coffee mug in my hand, this is perfect.

It's not every day, that I get moments like this so I want to cherish it, as much as I can. I was just there in the moment, a moment of peace, and calm. After I don't know how many minutes, I let out a breath, that I don't even know that I was holding. My shoulders and muscles relaxed in the soothing environment, and I enjoyed my coffee, which was not so warm anymore, but oh well! it was still tasty, and it still gave me enough caffeine to stay up for at least a couple of hours to study. 

I hear the noise of glass breaking, and it came from the neighbor's terrace, and its 2 AM. What ... oh no no no NO! I am not some dumb horror movie character; I have no interest in exploring "what's that sound? where is it coming from? who could be here at this time" That ghost, thief or a murderer can kiss my ass goodbye, I am leaving....I turned to heals and started moving towards the door that's when I heard my name and I am still not turning around, cause why would I ? Its 2 AM. 

"Oye, chudail" (Oye, witch) Oh okay, Mr. Vishal decided to show up on the terrace as well, so I turned around, Drama queen here decided to show up in a t-shirt while I am freezing here... Show off, he has a good body but that doesn't mean he has to turn that into an ice pop.... I looked at him annoyed. I am not in a mood to talk, I am too tired for any human interaction, even a dose of caffeine cannot convince my mind enough to interact with a human right now. So, I stood up and started to leave, "Sunna, mera na chemistry ho gaya hai, par maths pura bacha hai, test ke liye, padha de please topper" ("Listen, I am done with chemistry, but my maths syllabus is still not completed, teach me please ?")

My head snapped to face him, "Hoagaya tera chemistry? Maths, toh maine start bhi nahi kiya aabhi" ("You are done with chemistry? And I haven't even started maths" ) I started to sweat, my throat was dry, and I wanted to cry again. The test was on this weekend, and I am supposed to start maths on Wednesday... and he is already done with chemistry? He started to laugh that's when I realized he was kidding. I relaxed a bit "Hogaya tera? ki pure ghar ko utha ke maane ga?" ("Are you done? Or you want to wake the entire house?"). I scolded him as his laugh was loud and it echoed in the empty streets, and star filled night.